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Original poster

Am i right to be peeved with sil/bil?

12 replies

agalch · 16/08/2006 18:02

I need some thoughts/opinions on this if you can mnetters?

Dp's db and his wife are the only normal folks in his family and we have always got on really well when we see them which is usually 2/3 times per year.

They bought a gift for my ds1 when he arrived bout 15 yrs ago and the same for ds2 11 yrs ago.Dd1 was exactly the same 2 yrs ago.

However,had dd2 on 1st August and dp arranged to fix their car on the 2nd.When they arrived they said congrats and all that and gave me a card but no gift.Does anyone find it odd? Or it it ok because this is the 4th child and you shouldn't have to buy a 4th gift?

Since then we have had 1 card from an auntie of dp but not from rest of his family,all of whom sent gifts and cards when other dc were born.

I'm not fussed btw,just puzzled by it.

OP posts:
LucyLemon · 16/08/2006 20:07

Oh, poor you, I would be a little puzzled but probably mostly fussed!
Get the feeling that you are thinking that interest has run out by the 4th child?I would feel offended for my little one and probably mention it to someone else in the family with a big mouth. Although that could end in trouble! I wouldn't be able to let it rest...although I know this is not the mature thing to do [sighs].

Congrats on your new baby girl btw!

Quootiepie · 16/08/2006 20:08

maybe they were skint?

saadia · 16/08/2006 20:10

I think it's odd as well. After all it is your db's brother and I think they should treat all their nieces and nephews equally. I would expect such close family to give a gift on the birth of each child.

Carmenere · 16/08/2006 20:11

Well firstly CONGRATULATIONS!! I think it's a bit poor tbh, of course they should mark each childs arrival equally!

Pages · 16/08/2006 20:32

I have to say we got less cards when DS2 was born than we did for DS1 and I am certain it is a case of there being less excitement, not because DS1 was more special but it was a first child and more of an occasion. I personally wouldn't read too much into it as long as they are not off with you in any way. My sister has completely forgotten DS2's birthday but I know she will be mortified if and when she realises. I think it is how they treat your DD2 (and all the others when they see her) which is most important. It is a bit odd not to get even a card from therest of the family - I might be puzzled like you but I wouldn't be miffed.

glassofwine · 16/08/2006 20:36

I definately got less cards with each child.

Original poster
agalch · 16/08/2006 20:37

So i can feel a bit peeved? Good because i wasn't sure if i was overeacting or not.

Quootie they are very well off so it's not that.

They were really chatty and friendly,same as always so don't think i have done anything to upset them.

It's the fact that the whole family seem not to be bothered by Eilidh's arrival.And i don't expect lavish pressies but if the norm is to buy a gift large or small for a new baby's arrival why is everyone ignoring her birth?

Oh well folk are strange sometimes eh?

OP posts:
Ellaroo · 16/08/2006 20:39

I experienced a similar response to my 2nd. However, I think in your case I'd be really quite annoyed by this if my dh was fixing their car the day after i'd given birth! It does seem quite rude, but perhaps I'm just grumpy .

tigermoth · 16/08/2006 20:45

I can see why you are peeved. I think they have probably just been thoughless - do they have children of their own? I definitely got less cards and fuss when I had ds2.

Perhaps they are planning to do something else or give you a treat instead? If they are nice people, I would try to forget it for now, unless they keep giving birthday gifts to your other three children and omit your fourth.

Pages · 16/08/2006 21:16

Oh, I wasn't saying you were overreacting - you aren't! I suppose if it were me I would just gauge it on how they are with my kids. My sister, as I say, forgot a card and pressie for DS2 and yet I know when she sees both boys she will be all over them - I guess that just means more to me, but of course you have a right to be upset. I am sure they will all be bowled over by DS2 when they see her.

Pages · 16/08/2006 21:17

Sorry, meant DD2...

Original poster
agalch · 18/08/2006 13:33

Thanks for the replies all. Had a word with dp who hadn't said anything about the lack of a pressie for dd2.Asked him last night why he thought they hadn't got her gift when they bought for the other 3 when they were born.

He said we won't know until we ask them.I have said not to as i don't want to make things awkward for them or us.Will just ignore it and rise above it.So i'll never know why but it's their choice.Has made me look at them differently tho which is a shame as they are the only nice family dp has

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