Two relatives (siblings) very different but equally stubborn, have fallen out after quite a build-up of negativity over the years. Big disagreement over interpretation of their parent’s will some years ago, which now seems to have severed their bond completely. It's an argument over costs incurred to sort the will. I can see and have empathy on both sides.
Whilst neither will budge, I know they are otherwise both loving, kind and generous people who are hurting badly. I am afraid of the consequences on their health (both have had recent scares and one now seriously disabled). One, if not both, is getting quite depressed. Rel1 wants to agree to differ and put the past behind them. Rel2 won't budge and has started legal proceedings. We’re not talking vast amounts of money (hundreds, rather than thousands).
AFAICS, in order to agree to differ, the compromise is to split the costs down the middle, which has never been suggested. Rel1 would also have more difficulty finding the money than Rel2.
Both have been out of order since they have involved me and other family members, in a quest to get us to take sides (which we haven’t, yet). Rather stupidly, BOTH have already paid out more to other family members than the original sum in question in order to make their points to each other (including me, which I refused to accept to begin with and only accepted eventually with both their blessings, LONG story).
Really want to help in some way. Would I be mad to table splitting the costs, or should I stay well clear? I now feel bad at accepting anything and wishing I still had the money to give back to them 50:50, although not really sure it would solve anything, as I don't really think it's about money. It’s about who was right and who was wrong.
So concerned for the effects of the stress on their health, just want to bang their heads together tbh!
Sorry if confusing rant. Can anyone make head or tail of it? Any suggestions?
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Twixt · 21/03/2014 17:22
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