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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Feel sick - dp has walked out - think it is all over.

20 replies

Jazzi · 16/08/2006 13:52

Things have been bad for a while, and seem to be getting worse. Dp has walked out and I don't know whether he will come back - I don't really want him too, but everything is in his name or belongs to his family, so I will have to move out with the children. Oh God!! I feel so worried, children are feeling the atmosphere even though they are 3.5 and 19months. HELP!

OP posts:
CountTo10 · 16/08/2006 13:54

God that sounds awful. Went through this a month or so ago and still in that phase of dealing with it!! Are you sure he's not going to come back and if he didn't would he insist on you moving out even though there's the kids to take into consideration?

Original poster
Jazzi · 16/08/2006 13:55

He probably will come back, but one of us will have to move out, and that would be me with the boys.

OP posts:
CountTo10 · 16/08/2006 13:57

I always think the braver decision is to leave than to stay and if you really feel the relationship has had its day then it might be better for all of you to take that jump. Do you have your family or friends around you to support you?

stephanieplum · 16/08/2006 13:59

God you poor thing Jazzi. Esepecially with such young kids. I am so sorry.

Lemmingswife · 16/08/2006 14:04

I am really sorry you are going through this.
Did he walk out in temper, as a result of a row?

fairyjay · 16/08/2006 14:09

You really should stay with the children - and he should move if it comes to that! Sorry you're having a tough time

lemonstartree · 16/08/2006 15:57

is this realted to his bells palsy ? has him mother been stirring ?

i'm so sorry for you having to deal with this......

proudofmyboobs · 16/08/2006 16:00

Oh frig, it wasn't because he read the bells palsy thread was it? I remember he posted on it after you left it open

I hope everything works out for you babe x

Original poster
Jazzi · 16/08/2006 16:37

Part of it was the Bells Palsy, but that is just the tip of the iceberg!! Things have been wrong for a long time. He is at his mothers now and I am sure she is being very sympathetic, whereas I am always the wicked witch. I am just sooo bored of it all.

OP posts:
cerys · 16/08/2006 16:56

oh Jazzi, I saw the thread title and was hoping it wasn't you posting.

I hope you can work things out and that you and the children are not forced out - even if things are in his name, aren't the children meant to be the priority?

xxx

Original poster
Jazzi · 16/08/2006 17:00

They should be cerys, but things are really complicated. Tbh I would rather leave as I have no family or friends here, this is my dp area, so I would rather go back home to my parents.

OP posts:
cerys · 16/08/2006 17:04

I can see why you would want to do that, Jazzi. I wish I had something useful to post, but I am thinking of you. You sound a strong person, so you will get through this for your boys.

Original poster
Jazzi · 16/08/2006 17:52

Thanks all - he still isn't back, if it was my son I would tell him to go home to his family to sort things out, I suppose she is getting what she wants - me out the way.

OP posts:
Original poster
Jazzi · 16/08/2006 19:30

Still not back, but had his mother on the phone saying I need to be more supportive of him.....she really has got a nerve!! Maybe I should add this to Mil from hell stories!

OP posts:
proudofmyboobs · 16/08/2006 21:08

The Old Bitch! What support did he give you when he bogged off to his mums and left you with the kids?

PanicPants · 16/08/2006 21:13

You don't have to move out, seek advice before you leave (citazens advice borough) because once you have left you lose a lot of your rights.

Original poster
Jazzi · 16/08/2006 21:18

I suppose I should seek advice, but to be honest I just want to get on with my life. I have never liked it here anyway, so moving away would be no bad thing.

OP posts:
PanicPants · 16/08/2006 21:23

but what about financially? I f you can afford it then ok if its what you really want to do, but if not then sit tight until you have some advice.

Have you family or friends nearby?

CountTo10 · 16/08/2006 22:11

I would definitely agree with Panic on this one. As mercenary as it might sound you need to sit down and work out what you and your boys are going to need - whilst you sound like you're gonna be better off without him, he still has a responsibility to his children and you'd be better to get certain things straight before leaving - what is it they say about possession being 8 tenths of the law!!!! That's not to say you can't put the feelers out with family & friends back home to start getting the ball rolling on your new and much happier life withouht the dragon from hell as a mil!!!! Hand in there x

kimi · 16/08/2006 23:14

Please contact the CAB as soon as possible to find out where you stand

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