Sorry this is probably a long & confused ramble!
FIL has always been quite strange. Dh says that when he was young his dad was never interested, not strict or anything just not remotely interested in anything dh did. This included our wedding when fil said he could probably make the ceremony (to which he arrived late!) but couldnt come to reception as he had church commitments & didnt want to let anyone down (apart from dh). In the years that followed he's not remotely interested in his grandchildren either - dh regularly rings & says I'm off at the weekend to which fil always says oh I'm busy, things to do etc etc. DS2 had meningitis earlier in the year & altho is fine now fil never rang once, visited us in hospital or anything. Its got so bad that my children now say to me that they're really sad as they consider that they dont have a grandad (my own dad died a few years ago). I'm not remotely bothered for myself which probably makes me sound a right cow but I know dh altho he makes out he doesnt care is devasted.
FIL is quite elderly now & I dont want dh to feel terrible he hadnt tried harded if anything happens to him. I dont know whether to ring fil & say something to him & risk the wrath of dh for going behind his back? What would you do?