vasectomies.....

[Mel]

I'm actually quite desperate for my husband to have a vasectomy! He refuses point blank, saying it would make him less of a man! Even my GP dad has said how sexist when it arose as a family conversation and my sister's partner said the same thing! I hate putting hormones in my body, the cap was hysterical in every way, and at 38, I really don't want anymore children. It really affects our sex life, because I'm so paranoid about falling pregnant. I have promised endless, condomless sex as an incentive - but to no avail!! Anyone got any ideas?

mel - alternatively, why not threaten him with no sex at all unless/until he has it done?
might concentrate his mind a bit!!!

I must be lucky - my hubby volunteered to have a vasectomy before the thought had even crossed my mind - probably because he does much of the childcare! Mel, I think my husband would be happy for you to know that it was well worth it -okay, there were a few days of discomfort and he was the butt of a few "blue balls" jokes for a while but, like you say, masses of condomless sex can't be bad! Tell him that Candy's man says "Go for it, mate!"

Mel, does your husband want more children?

Mel have you thought about having a Mirena Coil fitted? I ahd one fitted a month ago and it is great, and it stays in for 5 years, no more fighting him off!!

Why not be sterlilised yourself, I did, at 30 and have no regrets at all.I have 2 children 13 months apart, I knew I'didn't want more than 2, and I felt if ever something happened to me I would have wanted my husband to marry again. It would possibly be someone younger and I know how much I longed for children, I couldn't bear the thought of someone not be able to have any because of a vasectomy. So I had it done, It's dead simple, in nd out the same day, you can even have it done under a local. No after effects at all. My mother had it done at 36, and several of my friends have had it done recently.

My husband is quite happy to have a vasectomy, but my youngest is only just two, and lots of my friends are confident that we will change our minds and want more children later. For the past fifteen years I have always said my dream family is two boys (which I now have), and I cannot imagine having or wanting any more children. Since the first months of the second pregnancy I was determined I wouldn't have or want any more. What do you think? Should we wait a bit, or go for it now?

Tigger - are there any side effects of the Mirena Coil? Any dangers?

Jools - we find condoms cause a loss of libido too! But those of you who are so confident you'll never want more children - what if one of your children died? I've known three couples who decided to have another baby after this happened, long after they thought they would not want another child.

I've got a mirena coil too. It's great. The only side affect I had was to get a bit (2 or 3) spotty for the first couple of months, so don;t have it fitted just before the christmas parties. On the plus side, it has regulated my heavy periods very well, they now only last 5 days and are fairly light. Oh, and no condoms of course (described as 'like washing your feet with your sock on!)

Tigger and Debsb, does the 'fitting' of the Mirena hurt at all?!!! And are you totally unaware of it etc.

It only feels like having a smear test, and you may be a bit uncomfortable for a while after it has been put in. Went to the doc and was back out in 25 minutes.

Ems, the worst bit was when they have to wipe the cervix with antisceptic - it was cold! I didn't actually realise they'd finished mine. After 2 kids I don't think anything would bother me. I don't know it's there anymore. They do leave a string outside, about 2 cm down from the cervix, which you should check after every period, but that can't be felt usually either.

Yes isn't that the coldest thing ever!!!!!!

After having my friend's 5 year old staying with us for a week last year while her mum and brother in ITU at Alder Hey it decided my husband. He decided 2 to get ready for bed and 2 lots of lunch boxes were enough! Also after having my daughter for 4.5 years she's nearly killed us with 12months asthma(no sleep,then adenoid problems (still no sleep!!) and now we are in the throws of 12 months constipation/overflow....couldn't cope with another one.Two's plenty thank you...I need some sleep

Thanks for the advice everyone. Sml - no he DEFINATELY doesn't want any more children. It's obviously that man, maleness thing! Anyway, I'm off for an appointment, get it all sorted and willfinally stop being paranoid!