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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Decree Absolute!

18 replies

Moanranger · 18/03/2014 22:50

Well it has been just over a year since my (as of today) XH declared his non-love of me. What an emotional roller-coaster it has been! But when I got the Decree through today, I feel as though a great weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I hope the worst now is past.
I am extremely grateful to my lawyer; she petitioned the court in late July, so 8 months to divorce, pretty good, so if anyone needs a good family lawyer in London pm me. Finances still not settled, but I just wanted to share this moment

OP posts:
talullah57 · 18/03/2014 22:56

Congratulations to you! I have a way to go. May I ask a question though? I thought once you had the Absolute that meant all the finances were settled? I am so confused by all this.

I wish you a very very happy future xxx

LCHammer · 18/03/2014 22:56

Have a good new beginning.

Original poster
Moanranger · 19/03/2014 00:05

Tallulah - you are supposed to try & settle them but my ex is extraordinarily difficult, so I asked my lawyer to go for the absolute. I am in the less common case of having my x trying to get money from me, rather than vice versa. The finance issues are yet to be resolved.

OP posts:
talullah57 · 19/03/2014 00:07

oh ok. thank you for clarifying that as you had me worried!!!! My wishes for you are for the very best. Take care and thank you for sharing this xxx

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 19/03/2014 00:58

Best wishes, Moanranger, wishing you the start of a wonderful new life.

handfulofcottonbuds · 19/03/2014 01:06

I wish you all the best too.

Can I ask why it's taken this amount of time? I got a letter today saying that the judge agrees to the divorce under adultery so I can now apply for the decree nisi - I was expecting it all to be complete in about 4 months.

Our finances will take a lot longer to sort out too as he is hiding money.

talullah57 · 19/03/2014 01:23

Mine is hiding money too. He has been a total shit. I won't be signing ANYTHING til I know it's all above board.

handfulofcottonbuds · 19/03/2014 01:36

Sadly it costs a lot of money to find out though doesn't it talullah.

Good luck though.

BeforeAndAfter · 19/03/2014 08:36

I didn't apply for decree absolute until finances were sorted so there was about a year between nisi and absolute. Glad I did that as he must have proposed to OW the day the absolute came through. It would have been so much harder to negotiate finances if he'd been married to her plus, where would I have been if he'd died? He stalled on finances so I had to apply to court for a timetable. Breach of that would have been contempt of court so it focused his mind.

Congratulations moan I'm sure you'll be delighted when the last bit is sorted and sorry for the mini hijack!

mammadiggingdeep · 19/03/2014 08:38

Congratulations. Too early for a Wine but cheers anyway.

You sound so positive. Wishing you all the best
X

mammadiggingdeep · 19/03/2014 08:39

Ps- hey cottonbuds...hope you're ok. Flowers

Lweji · 19/03/2014 08:40

Congratulations. :)

Have some cake.

Decree Absolute!
Original poster
Moanranger · 19/03/2014 08:54

Wow, Lweji thanks!
Handre time - I thought it was rather quick - 8 months.
They are shits. I run a business & my ex has delusions of grandeur as to how much it is worth. He is also taking me to an industrial tribunal for unfair dismissal - another story. He too was the culpable one, having started a relationship with another woman. This does not seem to stop them being d**ks, though.

OP posts:
SpringyReframed · 19/03/2014 08:59

Congratulations!! Absolutely Wink wonderful news! I can imagine how you feel.

I am envious. Just emailed my solicitor to chase things. It is at the point of the agreement being signed and I am getting twitchy.

LOVE THE CAKE! Grin

BeforeAndAfter · 19/03/2014 09:02

That'll be an interesting tribunal...

I can't believe he'd actually sue you for unfair dismissal. What a vexatious knob. Hopefully that will come through loud and clear.

handfulofcottonbuds · 19/03/2014 13:12

Hello mamma, I'm good thanks Flowers

moanranger - I hope teh tribunal throws the case out for wasting time. Good luck in your new life x

Granville72 · 19/03/2014 13:18

Congratulations, it is sad (in a way) and lovely when the Absolute comes through. Feels such a weight off your shoulders.

Hope you get every thing else sorted out soon

Original poster
Moanranger · 19/03/2014 15:02

Re industrial tribunal - he actually has a case. My lawyers ( I now have 3!) are asking for a stay. However I have now found out from 3rd one that I cannot defend the case as if he wins it would make my company insolvent. Rather interesting & esoteric point of law. I hate having all these lawyers, but they appear to add value. So far, he has got nothing off me & I hope it remains that way.
He is going to go ballistic when this all comes down, but the law is on my side.
Initially I made him a reasonable offer for the business which he turned down flat, deciding instead to use lawyers. His "case" is full of lies, and he claims he cannot work (has qualifications coming out his a*.
I think eventually he will tire of spending money on lawyers with no return.
Our DC are grown & this should be a clean break divorce.

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