First Relate appointment tonight .... what to expect?

[mosschops30]

me and dh are really nervous. Dont want to be quizzed too much and hate feeling like someone is judging me. Whats it like when you go for your assessment session

I dont know sorry, but just want to wish you luck

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Good luck mosschops.

Can't remember that much - it was 6 years ago, but it did feel a bit awkward. We warmed up as the appointments progressed and by the time we got 'promoted' to the therapist, I actually began to enjoy the sense of relief from being able to discuss things without fear of dh storming off. It united us too, in one sense and gave us things to titter over together - whilst valuable, the whole process is a cliche nightmare really...

Trouble is, I think we are at a stage where we could do with going back again.

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At the assessment meeting they don't start counselling, just ask you what the issues are. They don't quiz you much and definitely didn't seem like they were judging(us). I think they have heard it all, if anything the guy we saw was a bit blase - made it seem as if we were the hundredth couple he'd seen with the same problem.

Which, frankly, was reassuring.....

Remember it takes a few sessions to see the benefits

thanks for your advice all, it actually went very well, the counsellor was very nice and we actually ended up talking to each other more than her (maybe thats the point!) she simplifies things in a way we havent which is lovely, we are going again ....fingers crossed

When I went to our first Relate session I was very nervous. I remember she showed us into a room with three chairs and a box of tissues on a table. (Gulp!)

We emerged ten sessions later with a much stronger relationship and a strategy of how to cope with arguments and difficulties when they occur. It was brilliant.

One word of advice, if you don't like your counsellor, ask for another. I had two - one was brilliant but I couldn't relate to the other one at all.

Good luck.

ha ha spidermama same thing here, 3 chairs, 2 separated with a table proffering a box of tissues!!!!!!

You should have seen us trying to hold hands in the first session - across the divide..... forgot about that bit

Have not followed the posts, sorry, but in my experience of 25 sessions and £2000 later ... beware. They are paid to keep marriages together, I think. That is their job. If you have decided to separate, that is not their job. They are not your parents. They are not independent counsillors either. They do not love you, either of you. Ever heard of "sitting on the fence". Well, however nice the field of cornflowers, daisies, or poppies ... it aint RELATE. For them, money doesn't grow on trees, it grows in fields ... of their making. Your own mind is the best decider. You might tkae 20 years to realise it!!! And ... so much harder with the little offsprings!!!