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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

9 years......

10 replies

Chocydoo · 14/03/2014 08:18

Been together 9 years...two kids. Furing an argument this morning I said he couldnt take the car, he said its his and everything we have is his. Nothing is ours its all his.
Is he legally right? My name isnt on anything and we arent married.

OP posts:
bragmatic · 14/03/2014 08:23

He is on a strong position if he wants to get nasty, yes. Does your income pay any of the mortgage?

Original poster
Chocydoo · 14/03/2014 08:26

No. I am a housewife. Doesnt look good does it? X

OP posts:
bragmatic · 14/03/2014 08:29

No. It really doesn't. He'll have to pay maintenance for his children, but assets that are in his name, are his.

Do you have somewhere to go? A career that you can resurrect?

Original poster
Chocydoo · 14/03/2014 08:38

Yes but not ideal really. I have a 7 month old baby and a 3 yr old.
Finding him trying to control me with money etc. I asked him to watch kids while I had a bath so I could get ready. Hadnt bathed in 2 days because i literally havent had time with a teething baby. Got out of the bath to dry my hair and he is taking over getting in the shower so now i have to look after the kids. It may seem minor but he does this all the time. When i ask him to mind the kids for 5 mins he says its my job because he works all day. If it doesnt suit him he doesnt do it. Im a bit sock of it all and i dont like being held to ransom over money either. His position of power has gone to his head.

OP posts:
NotSuchASmugMarriedNow · 14/03/2014 08:42

What was the car argument about?

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow · 14/03/2014 08:42

And yes, it does sound like his position of power has gone to his head! That's exactly what it sounds like.

Onesieone · 14/03/2014 08:43

I was in a similar position a few years ago. When I gave up my career to mind our kids. I great fully fell into a role of 1950's housewife. Then I realised I had no me time and was getting no thanks. So, I started being less of a push over gradually. It worked things are very equal now thank god.

bragmatic · 14/03/2014 08:45

Do you love him? Is there anything good about your relationship? Does he love you?

Offred · 14/03/2014 08:48

You may be entitled for some things for you on the basis that you have children. I think you should go to a solicitor or CAB to get a proper idea as it can be complicated.

Nomama · 14/03/2014 16:41

You DO have some rights as you have contributed to the life of the family. The 2 of you chose kids, SAHM etc.

Get real advice from legal beagles and make you choices depending on what they tell you.

Your man sounds controlling, at the very least!

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