Anything I should know before going for a wedding abroad?

[ThePartyArtist]

DP and I would like to get married in the future but the costs are so prohibitive that it's virtually impossible. As a result, we've not made any commitments to it, but would both like to at some point.

I am just wondering about whether to do it abroad as his family live overseas, in a place that benefits from excellent weather. Alternatively we could wait and do it in the UK with more people, but I cannot see us being able to afford this - at least not any time soon.

If we went overseas, I would feel uncomfortable inviting as many people as I would in the UK, as it seems unreasonable to expect people to go abroad (plus we need to do this on the cheap). If we had both our families plus partners it'd be 16 people (including us). I would love to also invite friends but once it gets into that there's about 20 extra people and you have to decide on which friends get invited, and risk offending the others, so probably best not to go there. However we could possibly have a hen / stag celebrations, or party on our return, to include more people.

My main hesitations over this idea are as follows - I wondered if anyone can offer advice:

1. The place - we'd have limited choice of venues. The place for the actual ceremony is really beautiful - way nicer than the UK could ever offer (outdoors) but when it comes to somewhere for a meal / hotels options are a little on the 'dated' side.

2. By going to the place DP's family live, would they take over organising? (Obviously this is a difficult question to answer as you don't know them - but something for me to ponder).

3. 4 of the 16 people I have mentioned already live there - would we have to pay for flights and accommodation for everyone who doesn't?

4. Practicalities of all those people being able to get there - how could we organise this?

5. Would it feel not quite right or flat to not have friends / extended family there?

6. My and DP's families aren't exactly kindred spirits - no fall outs just not really anything in common. Would it exacerbate this to have a small gathering? Also the destination would not be a holiday destination of choice for my family.

The pluses however are:

1. We could afford it sooner than a UK wedding (by several years).
2. Good weather.
3. Overseas but somewhere we are both connected to - DP more than me but the outdoor venue is somewhere very special to us both.
4. No need for the stuff I consider unnecessary eg. first dances, cringey speeches, which usually comes with the 'proper' weddings.

I had my dream wedding in the UK AND got married outside! I had everything I wanted (inc dress, bridal party outfits, venue and dinner for 120 people, entertainment (DJ, harpist, boat hire for tours in the afternoon), decoration (chair covers, flowers, venue decs) for around £9k. My dress was 1/9th of that! Weddings in the uk don't have to be expensive. I know people who have spent much more than I did going abroad and got far less value for money.

There are deals to be done. Get married off peak and on a Thursday - it's always cheaper. Look for a venue that has free hire when you are having over a certain no of guests, have something like a hog roast or Buffett instead of a sit down dinner. It's very very doable!

I think it's a bit different choosing to marry where your partner grew up and has family. There is a genuine connection and reason for being there, and presumably holds special memories for you both.

The thing to remember about marrying abroad is that often it seems a lot cheaper, but only because you are shifting your costs from yourself to your guests. You save, they have to spend on flights, holiday allowance, etc.

Also, you have to accept that even very close relatives may say no and to commit in advance not to be offended if that happens.

We did both and told people they could go where they wanted!!!
In his country we invited his family. ( then the week before we did our sums and invited an extra 15 friends !!!)Then my family members whoever wanted to came over.
A week later we did a blessing in the Uk. It was for my family initially but our friends had said they wanted to come to the UK.
We initially planned just to have a meal in the Uk with friends and family however due to a financial contribution we had a 'blessing'