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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Really need some advice please...... can anyone help? its a bit long - sorry, but im really stuck!!!

6 replies

BlueBluePink · 14/08/2006 12:50

My dear friend - she is lovely an absolute angel, and her dp who is nice enough but he does lie to her and has been introuble in her family for sending my friends neice a rude txt message and she is only 14! but she sticks by him, she says she loves him very much, and aside from some of his issues he is a really nice guy, she has been with him on and off since she was about 14/15 with her having a relationship with another guy for a year or so when she was about 18/19ish but about a year ago he told my dp that their ds was not his, and that he would love to have another baby with df and hope it would be a boy so he could have a son of his own, i have not mentioned this to her as its not my business, but i have said about her ds doesnt look like either her or him just to see what she says and she has replied that he is like her dp's dad though and has mentioned other times that her ds gets more like dp all the time so i have no idea what the situation is, but recently my dp said her dp has now told another mutual friend and i cant help but wonder wether or not i should say something to my friend?? should i tell her? it really doesnt seem my business and even if it was it wouldnt matter at all, why should it? but if my dp was telling people things like this i would like to think my friend would tell me, if its true - she obviously doesnt want people to know, and if its not true than what the hell is he doing? im seeing her this afternoon should i tell her?

OP posts:
moretenaanyone · 14/08/2006 12:53

I would play it slowly. You don't want to upset her so much that she tells you to sod off.

Could you talk to her dp?

BlueBluePink · 14/08/2006 12:59

i have asked dp to have a word with her dp and he said he has, but her dp just said it was true they got back together a couple of months after she split from this other guy, and then a little while later she found out she was pregnant, she presumed it was this dp's until she had a scan soon after and discovered she was over 6 months pregnant and so it must have been this other blokes, but he stayed with her anyway and took her ds on as his own - this would tie in with things she has told me, but why would she lie about it, it doesnt matter that her ds is another mans does it? if it doesnt matter to her then it shouldnt matter to anyone else?

OP posts:
moretenaanyone · 14/08/2006 13:03

If it doesn't matter to her then you are right it shouldn't matter to anyone else. If I were you I'd leave it.

BlueBluePink · 14/08/2006 13:09

Would you? i dont mind leaving it its been a year since he told my dp and we agreed its not up to us to decide whats right for them, but now he is telling other people too, i know if she knew she would be upset! i think i agree with you maybe i should just leave it as it is. Do you think she would be mad though if she finds out and knows i knew all along and never said anything? im so confused by it all!

OP posts:
moretenaanyone · 14/08/2006 13:12

Maybe she knows he's telling others. Does she seem to get 'down' at all? If she does that maybe that could be a way to bring the conversation round.

I have to go now, off to pick kitchen flooring. Good luck whatever you decide.

BlueBluePink · 14/08/2006 13:15

Lol ok thanks mta have fun!

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