On the cusp of doing something really dumb...

[dayzeroexploit]

But I think I want to.

Long Stories Short:
Me and DW are coming to the end of a very rocky patch, the rockiness wasn't of my making, but I stuck it out as two people solving a problem together is a bit easier than one alone.

Today, I got chatting to a young woman who is about to embark on a career path that I used to have, she was reading a book about it and I interjected about the niche nature of the career, the people who helped me and the Institutions I worked in, just anecdotal stuff.

She gave me her business card and asked for my contact details, I though at that moment it would be impolite to refuse and though nothing of it. I had mention to her that I'm now a SAHD and was on my way to do the school pickup and I also specificity mentioned DW's job.

So I walked away from that conversation thinking nothing of it, other than it was nice to have some interaction with someone outside of the School Gate conversations, and talking about a career that I was once very "into".

Within 20 minutes I got an sms from her, saying how much she enjoyed talking to me and would I like to go to a museum or gallery one lunchtime.

The only thought that went through my head as I read it was "Oh Shit! Oh Shit! Oh Shit", next though was "Fuck Yeh!", third though was back to "Oh Shit! Oh Shit! Oh Shit! WTF are you thinking man".

If I tell DW, she'll go nuts in her own quiet passive aggressive way. I have a little red devil on my shoulder going... "Go for it", partly in a tit-for-tat way (hence part of the rockiness), also in the sense that the attention of an attractive young woman buffs the ego. I also think, don't stoop so low.

Also it would be nice to spend time with someone who is interested in and has an opinion in contemporary art and culture. If it was a young man reading the book I would have said the same kind of stuff and I would jump at the chance to spend some time wandering the Tate, The ICA or Royal Academy - DW would ask me if he was gay, under those circumstances.

This is the road to hell isn't it

I think my answer now after writing all that is - Do nothing, delete the sms, never mention it and try to erase it from my memory.

You sound so disconnected from your DW. It's hard to get back what is lost after an affair but if you are not planning to leave, could you not sit down and explain how you feel about the passive aggressive stuff. Try and shave a bit of wood off the wedge that is between you a bit is what I am trying to say. Best of luck OP. It's normal to have the thoughts you have had.

Not sure how you would go about it but it sounds as though you could do with widening your circle of mates so you do have some that you can spend time with as blokes together doing non-drinking activities.

dayz I salute your honesty in this happpening and you posting. I think part of your motivation may be 'make it public, I won't do anything bad when the MN harpies gang up'

there's some disconnect in your relationship with dp, i think you recognise this and your awareness that your head could be turned by a bit of attention is good.

you need to work on finding that fulfillment from your dp, not randoms on the school run, but you know that.

what are you going to do (ps would suggest taking dp to tate)