Secret letters from HMRC, is it my business?

[pinkfluffypoodleface]

Do I do anything about these letters?

Due to a financially controlling exH who had a lot of secrets & none of them good, after I divorced him I had to declare bankruptcy as I had no hope of paying the joint debts that he (financial advisor!) accrued. I was ridiculously foolish in trusting him & signed for finance that he said we needed. I won't be making that mistake again.

I now have a dp of 5 years & our relationship is great & will be long lasting. Due to the bankruptcy we don't have joint accounts so he pays a % of his salary into my account & that & my 50% covers all the bills. We then each have a supply of private money each. So our money is separate & it suits us both this way.

However a letter keeps arriving for him, about once a month from HMRC Cumbernauld & he always tucks it away in his pocket & that's the last I see of it. He used to be self employed so I'm wondering if he has a tax bill that he is repaying but I'm a bit wibbly because firstly its HMRC & if he's ignoring letters then it won't go away. Secondly he is hiding the contents from me every month.

Its due to my exH & I'm torn, because half of me thinks that his mail is private & if he has a debt then its his business. But also I didn't think he would keep secrets from me & because of the exH it worries me that it is money related.

I've tried asking him, I've tried telling him that he needn't be ashamed of a tax debt to a bankrupt but all he says it that he doesn't want me to know & that he doesn't want to worry me.

Should I just leave him to it? Is it none of my business?

I know from personal experience that if he owed HMRC money and was hiding his head in the sand about it, the letters would be arriving much more frequently than once a month and you would probably have had a distraint officer on your doorstep by now. My best guess would be what you suspect, which is that he's entered into an arrangement with them to pay it back at X per month.

I can understand that he's probably really embarrassed about it and doesn't want you to know for that reason, but it's a massive elephant in the room and given what your ExH did to you, this must be a huge issue for you. Perhaps you could try what Attila suggested?

IMO the fact you have asked and he has refused to tell you shows it is not something entirely innocent. Otherwise he would surely say what it was about.

It is good though that you have kept your own finances separate so that whatever it is won't come back on you.