ExH having baby with new partner - am I normal?

[whygodwhy]

We have a 11 DS together and DS Texted me last night to say his Dad and partner are having a baby.

Our marriage was very abusive and he had very little to do with DS, just not interested. Consequently we only had one child, I would have liked more but he didn't. I eventually found the strength to leave.

I am now too old to have more and this current news has stirred up a hornets nest of emotion, I feel sad I couldn't give DS a sibling and sad I'll never know DS's sibling.

We split 5 years ago and I'm very happily married to a wonderful man. I'm just shocked about how sad I feel about it all.

I am in the same position - I couldn't have any more as too terrified of the abuse which started after my child was born. Ex is having baby with OW and it has broken my heart. I am also too old to have any more - I feel robbed. My child will never meet their new sibling (he refuses to contact or see her) and I am also terrified he will be abusive to the new offspring.

I think what you are feeling is perfectly normal. It bloody hurts.

It does, sad for a chapter that is now closed for me. But, I will do my best to focus on what I do have, or fill my house with puppies (think crazy lady style!)

(((((Hugs)))) to you OP. Given the way motherhood/family life turned out for you (all the let down and abuse) I am not at all surprised this has stirred up such emotion for you. I left an entitled miserable man last summer. The lack of support and engagement in family life over the last ten years has been really painful. I am in the waiting list for counselling and expect to start in the next month. Perhaps you could look into doing the same?? I'm doing low-cost counselling locally. More (((((hugs))))) to you

Ha - I had a house full of kittens up until recently - it really helped. Pet therapy is pretty marvelous.

Closed chapter for me too - if I never set eyes on him again it will be way too soon, even so. I feel like he has got away with everything and now has shiny new life, but I know in reality his new relationship is dire and bringing baby into that is recipe for disaster. But sometimes logic and your heart say two different things don't they.

I agree though - focus on what is good and happy. I am lucky I have a happy home and no longer live in fear of him. All progress of sorts.

Thank you so much, hugs appreciated my situation was very similar, he had literally no involvement it's tough to understand ... I adore DS more than life.

I will explore the therapy route.