Skype linked to my hotmail

[Clairesafatgirlsname]

Hello all,
I've just logged onto my windows live account on a laptop, I only ever check this email on my phone so the new live layout is new to me. In the corner, there is an icon like a message bubble with a smiley face, I assumed this was my msn which I haven't used for years. It had a '2' on it so, thinking I had some messages, I clicked it. I found it is actually linked to my husbands skype account, it's a very old one that (I thought) he doesn't use anymore. Does anyone know what the heck this is about? It opened to a conversation started a week ago with a girl, very sexual and clearly been 'camming' together. She mentions her boyfriend a swell. I feel absolutely sick to my stomach. I'm shaking. We've only been married 4 months. I have screen shotted everything but have not contacted him yet as he is on exercise so probably unreachable for a few hours. Also, I want to think carefully about my next move. I never thought this would happen. We were happy and this is going to change our lives. I'm also hoping for (naively) for a reasonable explanation. We have 2 DC aged 7 and 9. I'm sorry for any mistakes, I'm on my phone. Thank you for reading, any hand holding, experience or advice would be greatly appreciated.

I am trying to see how it could be a mistake or a misunderstanding but not doing very well. One of the lamest excuses ever known to (wo)mankind is, "the other lads were talking about it so I was just curious", or the disbelieving laughter and telling you you're paranoid.

Sorry OP no helpful advice at this stage but what with time zones there's always someone posting on MN if you can't sleep.

I think brighteyedbushytailed must have meant nouse.

OP I think you're doing brilliantly - cool, calm determination to protect yourself and your kids. Is there anyway you can collect more evidence?

op, this happened to me in very similar circumstances. He was based away and the message came to me instead of her. He did the script. I walked away with the wedding dress, rings and a posting all set to go. The knot your feeling is still familiar to me and this was a few years ago. Even if he's in block, bored and thinks it's just 'a bit if fun, but no harm' (that was the evetual down play he rolled out) he has just joined ranks with all the singlies you see doing this to the women who are absent. I too thought my partner wasn't one. How wrong I was. I would research on here what to do if your going to separate and start collecting important documents. It may seem extreme right now and perhaps you don't want to consider this, but I have rarely seen these situations end amicably when they are found out. I will put my life on it that his response will be 'I let a mate use it' a well worn cliché from them too. Stand your ground and stay angry and smart otherwise he will talk you round.

well it sounds to me like a 'bit of fun' for him and something to indulge himself in to relieve the boredom of being away.

of course that does not excuse it.

I'd use this time to try and ascertain in your mind what you want to do. patch it up? leave him? do you think he's done this before or you just happen to have stumbled across the one and only time?

it's a real.betrayal of trust and I'd be furious and upset. you sound pretty switched on though - don't let him minimise this

I don't know if he'll try all that 'lads banter' rubbish with me, he's never gone in for that and joined quite late in life so is often older than his colleagues, although I suppose that doesn't mean anything. I'm sure men of all ages and professions cheat. He had a friend who moved back into block about a month ago because he cheated on his wife. My husband said he was disgusted with him. I just feel like I can't trust anything he's ever said. At the weekend, we took the children for a day out, and later he made a point of telling me he was happy and he loved me and thanked me for supporting him at the funeral the day before. The fact he can behave so normally after what I now know he'd done, makes me think this isn't a one off at all. I don't know where to start with finding more evidence though.

My DH had a colleague who seemed to be living a double life, wife and DC miles away at home, him working away and seeing a girl with a DS. My DH used to say how uncomfortable it made him feel. How could he do it to his wife blah blah and he was just as fucking bad..!! I think its kind of like projecting. Trying to throw you off the scent as it were.

That actually makes a lot of sense, christmascandles. Maybe also making themselves feel better about their infidelities by denouncing others.

It's also to throw you off the scent. Except he has been caught red handed. Did you manage to avoid speaking to him today?

Hi, livingzuid. Were you up early or up very late? Lol. I didn't speak to him yesterday and hopefully won't today. I've been to the welfare office and there are so many options, we can have a 93 day 'cooling off' period, where he will go and stay on camp, which I might suggest as I don't think I'll want him anywhere near me but he can still see DC at we. Then there is counselling. But I think I need to talk to him before making any decisions, I think his reaction to knowing I know will help a lot with deciding whether I want to stay or leave. I just can't believe how sick and sad I feel. I can't believe he's done this. He's my best friend :(

Oh claire :( I'm so sorry you are having to go through this.

Pregnancy is keeping me awake at night! One of the many symptoms no one ever tells you about

Very glad you spoke to your welfare officer and you have an idea of what is and isn't possible. Of course you want to speak to him first and gauge his reaction. After you've done that then you can think about what you want to do. Keep posting if you feel able to and advice from the ladies who have been there will help you reach a decision.

You may also want to have a think about your financial situation and what you would need to do to live with your dcs should you wish to end the relationship. You don't have to act on any of this, it just gives you the knowledge of what is possible. But only if you are up to it.

Did you find any more evidence of his Skype activities or does it seem to be curtailed to this one woman?

It must be so heartbreaking for you I nearly cried at your last sentence. Focus on doing nice things for yourself and with your dcs.