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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Embarrasing idiot

10 replies

cruela · 11/08/2006 15:40

Earlier on today me, my partner and our two sons went to the estate agents, the boys were playing up a bit so he said he would wait outside with the boys whilst I went in to speak to them. I was asking if they had any houses in our price range in our desired areas. We then heard a load of shouting, aggressive swearing, ffing and blinding coming from outside, all the staff and customers stopped what they were doing and looked outside to see that idiot (my partner!) kicking off like a docker at the boys like some nutty alcoholic loser, they then of course all looked at me and suddenly became less helpful.

I was so embarrassed and I am so mad about it, I told him he is a tosser and I do not want him bringing up our kids to be common thugs and I said he is a crap father and I want him out. Ive still not calmed down, am I blowing it out of proportion? Ive never felt so embarrassed.

OP posts:
Kathlean · 11/08/2006 15:46

Are you blowing it out of proportion dunno why did it happen?

cruela · 11/08/2006 15:48

because he said the kids kept running off, no matter what they did there was no need to kick off, swear at the top of his voice so the full street heard and act the way he did, he makes us look like one of those common trouble families.

OP posts:
Kathlean · 11/08/2006 15:50

Does he do it often?

Sometimes there may be a reason which is why I was asking what happened previously. If the only reason is the kids running off that is not a reason.

Chilimama · 11/08/2006 15:51

I can understand why you were embarrassed and it is not appropriate behaviour in front of the children.

Have you any idea what exactly caused him to behave in this way? Is it a regular occurance?

My dh does have a tendency to swear and go a bit over the top verbally with our eldest but it does take a lot to make him blow his top. Both myself and MIL have told him that it is not appropriate at all and his outbursts are less frequent now, Although I do have to remind him not to swear in front of our and other peoples kids occasionally which makes me feel like a nagging mother!

I would give it a while to let yourself calm down before you talk it through with your partner.

How did he respond when you told him how you felt about his outburst?

Sorry I can't be more help just thought I would offer my viewpoint

Chandra · 11/08/2006 15:58

Time for a Super Nanny book?

I take from the words used mentioned in your last paragraph, his swearing and the children playing up that there is more of a family situation here rather than an isolated case.

Now, I'm not judging you, it can happen to any one and I have no doubt it may happen to me in the future, but this episode probably has presented you with the oportunity to say "enough" and do something to change the dinamics of the family.

zookeeper · 11/08/2006 15:58

I think anayone who has children will want to explode sometimes - it's not ideal but it happens - I once went into meltdown in a greengrocer when all three of mine were behaving badly and shouted "for f@@@'s sake sheut up NOW!" They shut up immediately, as did the whole shop and I couldn't get out of there fast enough.

Question is am I a "common trouble mother"?

Ps What's wrong with dockers?

zookeeper · 11/08/2006 15:59

I think anayone who has children will want to explode sometimes - it's not ideal but it happens - I once went into meltdown in a greengrocer when all three of mine were behaving badly and shouted "for f@@@'s sake sheut up NOW!" They shut up immediately, as did the whole shop and I couldn't get out of there fast enough.

Question is am I a "common trouble mother"?

Ps What's wrong with dockers?

zookeeper · 11/08/2006 16:00

oops don't know what happened there..

MrsBadger · 11/08/2006 16:01

NB stop worrying you look like 'one of those common trouble families' - all of us look like them sometimes when otherwise polite and respectable child has tantrum in supermarket / spills chocolate down clean outfit / loses shoes / gets covered in mud / runs into street causing us to bellow like fishwife etc etc

It might be helpful to separate your shame at being shown up in public from your DP's attitude towards the DSs - it seems to me they're two different issues.

joelallie · 11/08/2006 16:14

Not the best response to the situation no doubt although at least it got a response

However don't worry about embarrassment or what other people think of you. I think that DH needs to know that it's no OK to do that (presumably he now knows that!) but apart from that I wouldn't worry.

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