Trapped as in too deep

[indeep]

I am not sure where to start but I am really feeling at the end of my tether and just wondering whether anyone else out there can relate to how I am feeling? I could post this on new mum, step paren but hva chosen relationship as that is what is being wrecked. I feel such a failure in life. I am a mum of 2 - aged 5 & 4 months, I am step mum of a 6 year old who stays every other week or so, and I have never been married & am feeling very low. I want out and cannot see any way without ttally messing my life up still further. Anyone else feel like me???!

Sorry you're feeling so down about this. What exactly is wrong in your relationship? and why do you feel so trapped?

I feel trapped as I have just had a baby in a reealtionship I am not now happy in. My son from a previous relationhip sees his father regularly and I find it hard to get my head around the step family issues with regards to him let alone going through all that with my baby daughter. It is my own fault I know for jumping in too deep yet again. My partner has a little boy who I find difficult to say the least. I have jus moved house to a place where I am totally unhappy as I found out a baby died in the house we are in. I am having to move my sons schooling even though I really don't want to. Every aspec of my life feels otally screwed up & I just want to run away!!!

One thing to consider before you do anything permanent is to get evaluated for PND. This can color your feelings on everything.

Thanks for that advice butI have been to the doc and am waiting to see a councellor - long waiting list although I have stressed the urgency as I know talking does help (hence on here!) I am b/f though and am not prepared to go on anti deps as I don't want to run any risk of it going through to my girl. I look at my life though and do just feel like I have messed it up and can't see any way of feeling better about things. I tell myself pple are in far, far worse situations but every morning I wake up feeling the same way and just get lower. Have you any more advice as I can only spk on here as I have bothered other pple enuf with my ranting!!

You can take certain anti-depressants while bfing, though. I started taking Zoloft when ds was 6 months old and he was breastfed until 13 months with no ill effect. So, if they do recommend something I would give it a try.

As far as other things go, have you looked into any programs with mothers and babies/toddlers? Sometimes just getting out and talking to other mothers can be very helpful. There is also a "feeling depressed" board that you can post on that can alert others to your situation. It seems bigger than just a relationship problem to me.

I'm going to see the doc in 1/2 hour now - think I need to sort this before I do something silly

Talk to him,/her seriously about AD's if the waiting list for therapy is long. I literally started feeling better within days. I too was ready to ditch my wonderful dh and ds because I was so depressed and just couldn't think straight.

Also, do a search under spirituality for house cleansing. A basic method is carrying white sage incense throughout the house, but there have been at least a couple of threads that go into more detail.

that sounds too spooky for me! Not into any of that stuff really to be honest. Will talk about ad's tho not very happy abou them. not sure I should be bothering them really

Just wanted to say that I felt the same as you when DS2 was 4 months old and was threatening to leave DH, feeling down all the time, etc. I now feel totally different (DS1 is now nearly 1) and am so glad I didn't wreck my little family by leaving. I don't think you can ever underestimate the lack of sleep and post-pregnancy hormones. This might be controversial but giving DS2 a few formula bottles and going back to work sorted me out. It did take about 6 months for my hormones to settle down as well.

Having a small baby and moving house - all stressors for both you and your DP. It may be you just need time to adjust to everything?

been back to doc again today. he has arranged counsselingat for me - just 2 weeks to wait. Hoping that that wil get things sorted.Myboyfriend and I have also talked today about things in depth and he knows I am on the verge of going. We both know that we have to do our very best to work things out for our dd and our boys. I have bought formula today to top dd up - hoping she may start sleeping through again as the sleep thing is a big issue.
Thanks for you advice & glad to hear you worked hings out & kept your fam together. I just have to get my head round the dynamics of our fam - that's a lot of the prob.

Sounds like your GP is taking you seriously which is fantastic and well done for going and seeing them.

I had PND with DS and came so close to walking out the door and never coming back on a couple of occasions but I know now it was just the PND talking. I am currently pg with no 2 and had started to feel depressed again which really frightened me, and I have found that omega 3 supplements have helped knock it on the head completely - think cause i caught it really early though. But an omega 3 supplement might help balance how you're feeling a little bit as well as the counselling.

Good luck and keep strong - you are doing a huge amount, new baby, little boy and a stepson to look after too - all takes it toll on you.

Really glad you are taking positive steps to sort things out. Keep us posted. x