post adultery/divorce, what made you risk a relationship again?

[chocoraisin]

Hi, I'm more interested in other people's views than specific advice really - I'm 2 years post-adultery, absolute was granted before Christmas this year. My ex is marrying the OW and it's all been a bit shit really, especially as I was pg with DC2 when we split.

Having said that, my gorgeous DC are now 3.5 and 20months, and we're doing really, really great. I've been sort of dating for about 6 months, but never anything serious - no risk of it going anywhere. I've been very happy with that, not at all looking for a new Mr Right!

But the thing is, I met someone recently, who is pretty much totally unexpected. And he made me question what it would take for some of those walls to come down again. For the first time since my XH cheated, I'm actually considering that I might want to risk letting someone new in, and it's scary!!

So I wanted to ask people who have come out the other side of messy divorce (adultery or otherwise) and have found a happy relationship again, what was it that was different, that gave you the confidence to trust again? Was it worth it? How's it working out now?

Thanks Lynda xxx

I think you're right kentish and skye there is no 'right time' for things to work out perfectly, and to turn down opportunity every time is ultimately self-defeating.

I am mellowing down from my blissful high now, and trying to focus on real life for a while - working, kids coming home in half an hour, the usual day to day! I am determined to enjoy this but not let it become some all consuming thing.

I'm really glad it's working out for you, and you are able to talk to him. I know that it felt really different talking to this guy yesterday, I listened, I felt heard. It wasn't as if we agreed on every point but we were interested and respectful. It actually made us laugh how 'grown up' it all felt! Can't be a bad thing though :)

'It actually made us laugh how 'grown up' it all felt!'

Yep. My first encounter with doing things the grown up way, too. It's so nice, and makes everything a lot easier.

Loving this thread, so positive. :)