Thank you everyone for helping me last time with my post about my ex partner, the doctor who was studying to be a GP but was on anti depressants and we had a volatile relationship.
Since leaving him 2 weekends ago, and seeing texts from other women, I thought I was doing ok, but what happened the next week wasnt a nice feeling.
He is due for an operation on 7th march re his diverticulitis which means he will be off work for 2 months or thereabouts. There is part of me, that wants to send him a card saying get well soon from me and the family, but after what he said on the phone last week I think its not a good idea. nor does he deserve it.
He has been texting he is sorry, misses me, still loves and cares for me, can we talk please, calls me twice a day and nothing from me. Last Saturday daytime he calls me while I was in the car as I didnt see his name come up, he says happy birthday even though its tomorrow, and he knows it is... and asks about my dad as he has just come out of his operation for his knee and isnt in a good way, only for him to ask more detail which I wasnt going to...knowing he is a doctor. I feel angry and was very off with him on the phone which he picked up on straight away. we only dated a year and a half but felt longer due to what we had been through.
He then says he will text me later, only for me to say why? whats the point, he wants to talk and I ask again why? he says it doesnt matter now...I say look you didnt respect me, called me a whore and C repeatedly when we argued and I felt you were verbally abusing me most of the time which resulted in me getting hurt, I am going through alot with dad, I have work courses and dont need this additional pressure from you as you have upset me too much now. To which he replied well I didnt like where the relationship was going, hence why I called you those names ...!!! I say to him, my parents have asked him to leave me alone now, as he is being rude and demanding his way and doesnt quite get that calling me a whore is wrong or any names, total lack of respect to which he replies go and f**ng live with your parents then, I am surprised you havent shagged some other guy by now???? (can this man be anymore disrespectful towards me, is it the way I am being that makes him this way with me?)
To which he slams the phone down on me.....
Of course after this I am fuming and upset....I decide now to block his number from my mobile so I dont get his texts or calls anymore as well as wattsapp too.
However I was ok last week, this week its a different story after talking to him on the phone. I feel like I have lost my confidence, my self esteem and that I am not focusing even though I have a good job, friends, family and health too.
He has had to go back on anti depressants he tells me, and as his brother committed suicide 20 years ago, and his dad is on anti depressants too, I am not sure if this side of him is more serious in terms of another condition, as it scares me. Unpredictability, anger, aggressive behaviour, need to be needed then cold/distant, stressed because of his job, took drugs MDMA at Christmas with friends and thinks its ok/funny and winds me up with it. Then you get the "you wont visit me in hospital, you wont be able to handle it !"
This man has made me feel wrecked, our sex life became non existent unless I was quiet, or submissive perhaps or even upset, more so after an arguement, he wanted that passion.....I feel like i need counselling after him, and just thinking how did I attract this person, was it me? do I have that low self esteem maybe, how do I build it back up again?
What are these men? none of my exes were like this!!
He qualifies to be a GP in 2015 middle of that year, he was saying ah you will still be studying while I wil be finished then....its like some competition, I get a new car last month, he then says he will get the new version of my car...am I thinking he just likes a reaction all the time?? or to wind me up? or just immature....?
I hope he doesnt contact me again he still has my front door key....and I still have his bike, I am moving house soon too...he wont know where I am living, which is good!!
sorry rant over, I hope things get better soon, after a year, I hope its not another year to recover??
thanks for reading
xx