I've been married for 11 years and have three children 12 10 and 8 . I found out he was cheating on me For the first six years of our marriage. . While I stayed at home to bring up the children . I've always paid the bills (using tax credits and child benefits) even though he earn a full wage he always kept his earning secret ( obviously spending it on his mistress) he has never given me any money to help he never wanted a joint bank account . I've struggled to feed and clothe the kids and myself . He hardly used to bother with us and while the kids were babies they were my sole responsibility he hardly spoke to us some days . He made us move to an area away from my family and friends -to be with his mistress . I had nobody to talk to its a rural area so I felt so cut off.it took a long time to prove he was having an affair as all the little bits of evidence such as receipts he shrugged off saying they were gifts for his sister , mom he always had an excuse or lie ready . Until I found his phone one day when he'd got up late for work it was all on there everything . I had to stay calm and think things through -( I'd just applied to university to start a nursing course ) so I decided to confront him with the evidence to which he couldn't excuse or accuse me of being mad which he had done before . He confessed everything . I know I could have thrown him out then and part of me wishes I should have done . But I'd just been accepted on the nursing course and as I had no family or friends around to use for childcare while I did the course I let him stay ... my plan being to complete the course , get a job and leave him . Four years on I'm now working full time as a nurse I'm still paying all the household bills he rarely works doesn't do any housework and plays on the computer all day or sits watching TV . I've opened a secret bank account trying to desperately save up for a place of my own With the children but there doesn't seem to be any childcare provisions Before 8 in the morning or after 6 in the evening ... I'd leave him this second if I can get childcare for my children .. I no longer love him he's quite horrible to me and makes me cry often he plays little mind games and puts me down . I know he won't leave the house if I ask him or hell just keep coming back and he'll try to make things as difficult as possible because he likes to stay in control he acts like an angel in front of other people but behind closed doors he's extremely selfish . I want to leave now but I know emotionally I'm not strong enough I'm seriously thinking of moving the kids out of school to a new area .... I've looked at so many different ways out right now some days I find it unbearable ...I've applied to housing associations but I'm not a priority . Private rent is so expensive ... I would really like some advice/ support please from anyone