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Original poster

Is it over? Can't decide

8 replies

Stars66 · 22/02/2014 20:57

I've been with bf for almost 6 years, dd is 18 months and we bought a house together a year ago. I work p/t in a low paid role, not using my qualification and am always in my overdraft, he is the bread winner bill payer

Since having dd, our sexual relationship is basically over not that I miss it
We argue, or squabble over stupid things, not having enough sleep etc, dd wakes at 6.15ish and try as I can to go it bed by 10, it usually doesn't happen.
Last night dd had a screaming fit for 2.5 hrs, i couldn't settle her. He said he didn't want her anymore. I told him to get out. He slept in spare room, went to work today and then out to a gig which he had tickets for for ages.
I feel alone, I feel like he is too angry, I can't mother him as well as dd. And I don't want to walk on eggshells through my life around him. I've lost friends throughout our relationship due to him having drunken arguments and me having to side with him.

Am just feeling life isn't as great as it should be. Do I want to be a single mum? I have little practical support to help me, I just feel like I'm worth more.Confused
Sorry this is really longShock

OP posts:
morchoxplz · 22/02/2014 21:07

Course you are worth more. Way more. It happened to me when my DD 4. It was v scary but we split up and I have never regretted it. Can you get a job using your qualifications now FF is 18mth could she have a child minder a bit more of the time? You are not on your own and you sound strong enough to go through with it. Xx

morchoxplz · 22/02/2014 21:07

DD not FF!

Tmrgl · 22/02/2014 21:07

Well you don't sound like you want to be with him, and you shouldn't have to mother him or walk on eggshells.

You are worth more, so is your DD.

Original poster
Stars66 · 22/02/2014 21:14

Dd is at nursery 2 days per week, it's def pos for me to get a full time job I just don't know how we'd manage financially. And practically, most of the furniture /kitchen stuff etc is his, my car is actually his, he has company car. I'm probably worrying about superficial things but all this stuff costs so much, and the house wiped out all my savings.
And I love the house so much!!

OP posts:
morchoxplz · 22/02/2014 21:16

So go to work ft and save. If things get better between you great~ if not you have a realistic exit plan?

Original poster
Stars66 · 22/02/2014 22:17

I just don't want to work ft. Not through laziness, I really enjoyed my job before dd came along, and this pt one just doesn't get me going, it's just I want to be the main person to look after dd before she goes to school.
I had an uncle who died age 52 last year, he had nannies raise his 3 kids as he worked his ass off. My mum died at 40, so I've got it in my head that my days are numbered, and I don't want to go to my grave thinking I should of worked less / seen child more.
But, am I happy with bf? Probably not. Would I marry him? No as I don't see us 'living happily ever after'. Is it better to just cut my losses now? It'd probably be easier for dd now...

OP posts:
Sparrowlegs248 · 22/02/2014 22:22

Wow. He told you he didn't want your daughter anymore because she had a bad night? What a total selfish twat.

Original poster
Stars66 · 22/02/2014 22:36

Dd is clingy to me and is going through a defiant (wingey) stage. But I knew parenthood was never going to be a straight forward easy ride. He obviously thinks differently

OP posts:
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