Wanted to NC for this but can't seem to manage..

[jellybrain]

I have just checked into a hotel by myself because of threat from h following discussion about separating.

After lots of tears and talk he grabbed me by the front of my clothes, pushed me against the wall and told me to get out he them calmed down briefly and asked what we should do I said I thought it was over and that I would sleep in the spare room. He followed me upstairs and tried to manhandle me back down and I stood my ground, he moved away briefly and then punched at my face not to hit me but as a threat. Again he walked away and came back and said that. I should be very afraid about staying in the house as I might not make it through the night . He let me pack my bags and as I stood by the door told me I was making a really big mistake. I have done the right thing but what happens with dc surely I can't lose them if I leave under these circumstances?

Well done jelly for going to the Police. Do let us know how you are getting on. And if the police suggest you press charges, please don't let him emotionally blackmail you in to dropping them. I agree you need to get them both out. It's your home & your DC's home too.

Well done you. Hope it's all going well with the police.

Come back and let us know how u get on - thinking of u.

Oh and he's not clever and educated, he's an abusive bully.....

It's been a long and exhausting day. Police took my statement and told me he would be arrested, cautioned if he accepted my version of events or, if not it would be referred to the CPS. He was arrested at 4pm and is not home yet something about waiting for a solicitor.
I had planned not be here when he returns and to speak to h on the phone tomorrow. Mil persuaded me to stay and speak to him in person. Police advise I stay elsewhere tonight and speak in a public place tomorrow.
BiL had offered to come up and take him to a hotel or, if he refuses pay for a hotel for me. He agrees that I shouldn't be in the house if H is here. He has also offered practical help if I need somewhere to live.... He is a highly respected barrister and totally on my side.
My decision is partly dependent on whether he has been cautioned and accepted responsibility or otherwise. Kids are 16 , 13 and 8.

TBH I'd take the police's advice and not be there when he is released. Whether or not he has accepted responsibility you can't know whether or not he will lose it again. There are plenty of people who can tell you that their abusive partners still abused even after being cautioned. Your top priority is to make sure you and your children are safe.

Do not be in the house when he returns. Take BiL up on his offer of a hotel room until you know the outcome.

Getting dd to bed will be back later.

If you leave your children there ss will say you have not protected your children. Go with the police now and pick them up!

I think you might be jumping the gun a bit there monkey. Firstly, there is nothing to suggest that the children are in immediate danger. There are other adults in the house with them. The police may not have power to remove children from the house.

OP needs to find out the outcome first of all but I agree that she should not be in the house with her H.

Was bought home by the Police at about 9.30 and I spoke with them at length. He had agreed to stay away for the night at least however his brother hadn't arrived at the point so I said I would go out until H had left. I was able to return home about on hour later. Have had a long conversation with BiL. Need to sleep now and think rationally in the morning. Thanks again everyone.

I hope you have slept and he has stayed away.

Will he be staying at your bil's from now on?

Did he admit the assault and accept the caution?