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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is DH too sensitive about DCs behaviour?

27 replies

TheLostWinchesterWife · 19/02/2014 11:16

We have 3 DCs ages 7,6 and 3. DH is a good Dad. He isn't tge most playful of dads (my own DF used to play with us loads as kids and going round my parents house now he pretty much looks after the kids while I chat to DM)
DH though is always worried about the kids behaviour. If they're not sat silently he is on their back about not upsetting their DGs/uncle/aunt/next door's cactus! They are always too loud or too raucous or something. If we're in the b park he can't let them just run about. They can't go further than 6 feet away he panics. It's exhausting as it causes endless tantrums from the kids and shouting from him. I feel as though I have 4 children sometimes. It's starting to really exhaust me.
is it me should I let go a bit and agree with him or try to get him to lighten up and let v them just be children sometimes. I don't mean I don't discipline them I do. But not when they are laughing and playing a game where they are safe and secure. He worries they are.annoying m people and that people will think they are showing he cant keep them under control.

OP posts:
OxfordBags · 19/02/2014 21:49

Sorry, pressed enter too soon. Wanted to add that I agree with Attila, however: it is not your job to pacify or referee. Nor should the children have to learn how to putup with it, or mollify him - the responsibility for this, and for changing it, more importantly, lies with him. I don't think lots of time alone with him will be that great for the Dc right now, the way he is. He still sounds too uptight to just deal with the basic reality of what kidsare like right now.

TheLostWinchesterWife · 19/02/2014 22:38

One of the things he finds hard is that our DD1 has a genetic problem which we're going through the process of finding out about now. She get very emotional very easily and doesn't respond well to him at any time and he is getting upset. It's cos he loves her and wants to help but I think, missing out on a 'proper' childhood as it were, he isn't sure what is due to the genetics and just normal childhood mannerisms and behaviours. I know this isn't an excuse for him to behave like a git but may explain why he is. Sorry to drip feed. Phone keypads are not conducive to flowing prose.
Thank you by the way for the vote of confidence. It helps.

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