Pregnant and ignored

[babiesmakemecrazy]

Not sure where to post this.
Me and DP have been together for 3 and half years. We started TTC in Sept 2013, in Jan he said maybe we should wait a while longer, we're young, got years yet and I had just lost my job. I agreed even though I wasn't happy about it.
Last night, I told him that I took 3 pregnancy test, 2 were positive and 1 looked negative. I took them because I had days of feeling nauseous and not right. I also said I booked a docs appointment for Wednesday. His reply was 'oh right' and hasn't said anything about it since apart from see what doctor says.
I'm concerned that he s not bothered about it. Hasn't even asked what I feel, am I okay.
Prior to this everything was fine between us.

Look OP - men are really not very good with "what ifs"....they much prefer to get their head around something solid.

This says it all: and hasn't said anything about it since apart from see what doctor says.

It will say 3+ weeks, which in reality is 5-6 weeks pg.

That is, 3+ weeks from conception, so 5-6 weeks since her last LMP

cabrinha - there was a leaflet inside which explained what 3+ weeks meant based on last period/cycle.

So did you get pg just before you started using contraception or was this a fail?

Just wondering as it may be affecting his attitude, even though with condoms you could hardly be blamed.

It works out at about the time he changed his mind, or just before I think. It was about 5 weeks ago when he chaged his mind.

Sorry to be such a cynic OP but is there any chance he said he wanted to stop TTC because he was having 2nd thoughts about the relationship itself? The 'not being tied down' line after TTC for several months would indicate he's had some quite serious changes of heart that may not be limited to not wanting to be a father. He's responding to banal chit chat but completely ignoring you about the serious matter of the pregnancy - possibly because he's seriously panicking over what to do now?

I myself thought this, I asked him when he wanted to stop if he wanted you stop because he didn't want to be in the relationship anymore.
I asked today if he was happy with me and wanted to be with me, his reply was of course I do, I love you, stop being silly.
I can't help but wonder if he says this out of guilt or routine. In a way it'd be easier if that was the reason he didn't want a baby anymore, it be easier to understand.

Has he said anything about the pregnancy in the last few hours?

Any chance that the 'don't be daft, I love you' could have been automatic?

(I really am trying to help by the way, not just get you paranoid!)

I think it was said out of routine.
I'm grateful you're trying to help tbh.
Not much, we haven't really spoke. I'm hoping he wakes up with a total change of view tomorrow (hoping pigs can fly!)

I'd say let him sleep on it and raise it with him again tomorrow. If he carries on blatantly ignoring you when you speak about the pregnancy but not when you're saying something inconsequential, you probably have a problem on your hands.

Has he been acting strangely this year? Especially in the run up to his change of heart and immediately after?

Until you know how he behaves tomorrow, there's not a lot you can do other than thinking about what you'll do if it turns out something serious is wrong.

What's your course of action if it turns out he no longer wants to be in a relationship? If he's seriously ill but had been trying to keep it from you? If his change of heart happened because he started cheating and was no longer sure of your future together? If he only agreed to TTC to please you and has now realised he has a serious aversion to raising children?

I'm nearly 8 months pregnant at the mo and discovered that my fiancé cheated just before my positive test. Before I knew I was pregnant, we decided to work through it rather than end things. We're coping, but if I'm brutally honest with you it's been the most difficult time of my life. Choosing to continue with both the pregnancy and the relationship when I knew the relationship wasn't 100% solid is very much a decision that may bite me in the arse.

Hopefully, of course, your OH will wake up in the morning and wonder what on earth he's playing at!

The not knowing what's going through his mind is probably driving you mad, but rest assured, he has to say something about it eventually!

Good luck with him today OP, I hope he's more willing to talk.
But please - let him express his true opinions. I know this is hard, but you need to prepare yourself for the fact that he may not want this, and feel trapped and angry with fate. And he may also be angry with you, frankly, he may not believe 100% that it was an accident. One of your other posts said that lots of your friends and family are pregnant and most have been "surprises". I wouldn't blame him for having a small doubt. That doesn't mean he doesn't love you, or won't go on to be really happy. But you have to let him be honest with you. I think he'll accept the pregnancy faster that way.
It does sound (from another post too) that you have had different approaches to this. You've wanted to TTC for over a year, you're reading baby name books already and he thinks you talk about babies too much. And check out your username :)
And the poor guy has his own mother banging on with "any news" every time you see her?!
Hopefully, all this was just the pressure getting to him, and he'll embrace the new situation quickly, and be happy.
But I really think you have to be very open to listening to his feelings.