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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

sorry third time lucky or unlucky what to do?? :-(

11 replies

HelloBoys · 18/02/2014 13:40

I know this is my third post on this relationship but asking for advice/input again.

So I haven't kicked the boyfriend's ass to the kerb yet but more and more it seems like after 3.5 months I don't want him in my life with his issues.

He wants to meet up on Thursday evening for a chat - this was after I got mad at him last week.

I've been up and down like a yo yo (surprise) with my emotions over this one.

I'm almost sure he or I will end it then. Question is how? Should I just get in there and say I'm ending it. Or hear him out. I don't want to do the friends bit either.

I just don't want to end up a snivelling wreck (quite likely) or lose my temper (equally likely) so will most likely have 1 G&T and then soft drinks.

Thanks and please help!

OP posts:
NotSuchASmugMarriedNow · 18/02/2014 13:42

I wouldn't bother meeting up for a chat, whats the point?

Could you busy yourself with friends, family, work, gym and hobbies for a couple of weeks to wean yourself off him?

niceupthedance · 18/02/2014 13:53

I would call him up and tell him you want to call it a day. Sounds like he's planning a similar speech. At least then you won't have to cry into your lemonade in public.

Jan45 · 18/02/2014 14:09

What is the actual point of meeting then?

Finola1step · 18/02/2014 14:22

So you've only been seeing him for 14 weeks or so? Why so much drama? Just call him, tell him you won't be meeting up, that you are calling it a day, no hard feelings. Goodbye. Toughen up, dump him, get on with your life.

MadBusLady · 18/02/2014 14:44

Oh god, don't go. It sounds awful. Why would you put yourself through that? You don't have to have any conversation you don't want to have. I've not seen your previous posts but after 3.5 months I think a text or email would be quite sufficient. And don't even mention the friends thing, just resolve not to respond if he contacts you again. You can make a decision in your head without anybody else having to agree to it.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 18/02/2014 16:20

Agreeing with others, why waste your time? What are his 'issues'?

HelloBoys · 18/02/2014 17:14

Jan - that's the thing I was umming and aahing as to did I want him, could I cope with all this etc.

and really now I don't think I can be bothered with it.

surely if he wanted to end it it'd be by email/text right?

OP posts:
NotNewButNameChanged · 18/02/2014 17:29

We're not mindreaders! Some people end things by texts (cowardly), some by a call, some in person.

I don't see why it matters. You've already said you can't be bothered with it.

Why not just get it over and done with rather than constantly ask pointless questions on here over something that's only been going a matter of weeks and is hardly a serious relationship.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 18/02/2014 17:40

Why are you waiting for him to end it? Cut him loose and save yourself a lot of bother.

MadBusLady · 18/02/2014 17:43

Are you asking because your main concern is to be competitively nice in the way you end it? Should your wellbeing not be your main concern?

Finola1step · 18/02/2014 20:01

Does it matter if you're not sure if and how he will end it? The key issue is that after just a few short months (in which you should still be getting to know each other, loving each others company etc) you are already fed up. This tells you all you need to know.

Make a decision. Tell him. Stick to it. Move on.

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