I want to disown my Dad

[pompey27]

My Dad lives abroad and has married another woman and has a new baby of his own. Both of which he announced were happening at very short notice so we didn't really have time to digest it and get used to the idea. Ever since the baby arrived, my sister and I have felt completely rejected by him. He contacts us very rarely and when he does it always seems to have an ulterior motive i.e. needs an appointment making for him next time he's back or a parcel sending on for him. It was my Birthday last month and I didn't hear from him until over a week later. I haven't said anything as he did the same last year and when I confronted him then, he was quite hurtful and threw it all back in my face reminding me of the money I have borrowed off him in the past (I had nasty credit card debts when I was in my early 20s).
My DP and I live in my Dad's flat paying rent and keeping things in order while he is away but I really want to get out of there and find our own place so that I can cut him off and have nothing more to do with him. My Mum is worried that I am cutting off my nose to spite my face but I don't consider him my Dad any more. I would much rather go to my StepDad for advice than him.
What should I do?

It's just been a long time of the same old rubbish and it's tiring now. On the odd occasion he does call, I see his name flash up on my phone and my heart sinks because I don't want to talk to him.

I think I can deal with not hearing from him again but will see how the relationship changes once I've moved out and take it from there.

Thanks for the advice x

I think the OP is conflating two problems - an emotionally negligent Dad and an annoying landlord.

If you are getting a flat on the cheap, rationally that should be fine but of course really that means you still 'owe' him and are obliged to him in some way, which can feel lousy.

You can't really move on and be detached when you are sort of obliged to him in that way.

That said, you might regard him as more of a guardian type figure than a father figure. Look at it this way: you can get involved with whoever you want, and he will have no say in it whatsoever. That can be a plus. And you don't have to worry about his birthday and what have you either, at least in some big emotional way. I mean send him a card, but like some people send Xmas cards, more to keep their distance than actually get involved.