What do you do in the evenings with DH?

[RebeccaJames]

My relationship is struggling a bit at the mo. Where we have never had great communication it is now going from bad to worse with a new baby in the mix.

We don't like watching the same stuff on TV and it's awf but we tend to have one person watching while the other does stuff on their phone or I read my Kindle.

We are so mired in this that I cannot remember what we used to do pre-children.

What do you do!?

Although sometimes we will both read, or he will watch something I don't like (football/scifi) and I'll read but we will still be curled up together.

We rip each other's clothes off and have passionate sex for three hours.

Now getting back to reality, we generally watch TV, go on the internet (in the same room) or chat.

I go on mumsnet and kid myself he hasn't really realised. He goes a lot on ebay or his fantasy football type site and probably kids himself that I haven't really noticed. It works for us

We do also both talk about pointless and not so pointless shite whilst we cook.

We're almost always in the same room and we always go to bed at the same time (no TV in the bedroom as it makes me murderous)!

We record programmes we both like to watch, or have the news on in the background while we both browse the internet. We cook together and make a point of eating at the table with a lit candle and no tv on. We sort through admin, bills and paperwork or plan big purchases or projects (holidays / renovations), we laugh at the cat, occasionally we will drag ourselves out for a walk (usually when it is chucking it down with rain and no one else is about!)

volunteering is a shared interest, and occasionally bridge nights, which can be a lot of fun. we enjoy craftwork too, helps us get the creativity flowing! oh. and a good puzzle!

RebeccaJames, it looks like what you have described is perfectly normal, don't worry about it, time at home is the time to be yourself. If that is being quiet then so be it.

We take it in turns to cook, sometimes eating together at the table, sometimes apart if we're on our laptops.
He's a teacher and often has a lot of marking and planning in the evenings and I'm doing an MA, so I'm often studying.
We both enjoy creative writing so we'll often sit at our desks in separate rooms writing, then I'll come down to make a cup of tea and we'll talk about how are pieces are going. One night a week we go to a writing group together.
When we're less bust, we watch watch films in bed, drink wine together, take turns playing music videos to each other on youtube, play scrabble…and of course, have sex.

Less busy, not less bust!

Dinner, talk about our days. Hug with all 3 of us on the sofa until munchkin goes to bed at 9pm (DD is 11). Watch a bit of telly, talk about the news. Read our forums and catch up on Facebook and discuss the interesting things that pop up.

Between 10 and 10:30, go to bed and hug and enjoy each other after which we usually go to sleep or browse the internet looking at stuff that interests us and showing the other stuff that might interest them.

Box sets, scrabble, sudoku, film on netflix, but always sat next to each other cuddled up. He turns off any games on his phone the minute I come in the room and I check mn or FB sporadically, but we tend to do the same thing rather than both concentrating on separate activities.

We usually don't get any time to ourselves until after 7.30pm. We DTD every chance we get . We cuddle on the sofa and read peacefully or read to each other with the fire going, we talk about our day and any plans, or watch TV. We head upto bed around 10ish and literally collapse into bed. It looks very boring to the outside world but it's just perfect for us after crazy days. We're easily entertained!