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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

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5 replies

nursetigger6 · 06/08/2006 23:00

What do you think?
I have lived with my dp since 1997, wedding is booked, planned for 2008 when we had got our lives out of the way. dickhead asks me to review his "fantastic photos of Fairford" where I find certain tarts withing the female members of the crowd. dickhead seems there is nothing wrong with this. dickhead has a temper. he has smashed up everything i own that has ever meant anything to me.twat.my mother used to beat me up as a kid to suit her needs and shit to those of an 8 year old wanting to get on in life.....help requied or advice,,,,,please

OP posts:

CountessDracula · 06/08/2006 23:02

why would you even contemplate marrying someone like this are you not inflicting the same stuff on yourself voluntarily that your mother inflicted on you?

CountessDracula · 06/08/2006 23:08

(sorry if that sounded harsh)

wartywarthog · 06/08/2006 23:15

you are worth much much more than this. imo, you shouldn't get married. he is not worthy. sorry if that's harsh but it's time you started looking after yourself and made sure that no-one can beat you up ever again.

fattiemumma · 06/08/2006 23:22

anyone capable of smashing your possesions out of anger in such a violent and aggressive maner is capable of some day hityting you.
As CD has said, there is no way you should be contemplating marrying this man until he has sought some form of anger therapy at the least.
couldn't quite make sense of the bit about tarts in a crowd..but i am assuming he went somewhere and there werew women in the pics?? in which case he clealry doesnt care enough about you to realise you would be upset by this.

Sadly cghildren who are abused in the way you describe will often grow up seeking out the very same sort of person in a partner. they find that behaviour, however unpleasant, normal.
they see it as if they are meant to put up with it as they did as a child.
you yourself should maybe look into getting some counceling hun. and deffinatly get your partner to contact someone with regards anger managment before his aggression becomes violence.

Ags · 07/08/2006 00:06

What do you mean 'planned for 2008 when we had got our lives out of the way.'?

You seem to be answering your own questions here. 'Dickhead', 'Twat'. Doesn't sound like you think very highly of him. Doesn't sound like you want to marry him.

Maybe you are just angry right now. What is your relationship like day to day?

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