OMG I have married right t***t - what shll I do?

[ohmigosh]

I married dh in 2001. Got 2 kids - 1 3 and 1 4 months. we have had friends round this pm and dh got so pissed he passed out on bathroom floor while guests still here .... so embarrassing.
My dad is an alcoholic and I can see my life going the exact way my mums has - it started like this. this is not the first time this has happened.
I do not find him attractive - in fact i think I only got with him as I knew he was a safe bet as not many other people would fancy him either.

I feel soooo sad that I am wasting my life on a twat like him. I have not had sex in a year and TBH I don't miss it with him but I do dream of great sex with other people.

He thinks he is something he is not and I hate it. I am really growing to dislike him - although I would hate to tell him this as I don't like hurting peoples feelings no matter who they are.

Tonight is the icing on the cake - I want him to leave tomorrow but what do I do if he won't go?

'I only got with him as I knew he was a safe bet'

TBH with a horrible attitude like that I don't blame the bloke for getting wasted.

What age are your kids? It looks like they are 13months and 14months or I'm reading it wrong...as this is impossible

Have you tried to talk to him about it? The no sex thing isn't right at all! IMHO

You really sound like you need to talk to him before your feelings of resentment grow worse!

this is not possible

1 child is 3 the other is 4 months.

Haven't got a horrible attitude - I am so cross I am probably a bit irrational. But I am really beginning to question my feelings for him.

I really will not accept my life going the way my mum has. I have enough each wewek of going to hers 2 to 3 times week to scrape him off the floor without having to sort my dh out too.

Think she means one is 3 and one is 4 months.

I can understand how you don't want to end up in the same boat as your mum, but has your dh given you any indications that he is turning into an alcoholic? Maybe today was a once off? I know if we have guests who I am bored of I get pissed and fall asleep

NO - as I said this is not first time it has happened.

He also arranged today without telling me until a day or two ago.

He has left me with a screaming 4 month old and 3 yr old to bath and put to bed only I can't bath them as can't get in bathroom as he passed out on floor and 3 yr old askingme what's wrong with daddy - he shouldn't see this and I am having to make up stupid excuses - again I will not be put in that situation!!

I also have washing up to do from 8 adult meals (4 course meal) and 4 children meals for which he also used every pan in the house!!

Ok well, then tell him to pack his bags then. problem solved.

I feel so sorry for you, I take it he has changed since you met him..?

I would sit him down when he is sober and talk to him about these problems. I would not be hasty in leaving and asking him to leave but I would discuss a trial seperation. It may be that he's not aware of how hurt and upset you are and may need time to realise this.

I know what it's like to have a dh that does embarassing things once drunk so I have sympathy there...

It sounds to me like you already know that you want the marriage to end... maybe you both need to sit down and have a talk. If he didnt drink would you feel diferently about him?

is he a good father. sometimes i feel like that about dh which i am sure he does about me. i dont think you are always in love with ur partner. i can imagine you are really hacked off at the mo. think i would be too.

I really don't know. maybe I am trying to convince myself its over. I really DO NOT KNOW. we spoke a few weeks ago about other stuff that annoys me and nothing has changed. Our eldest child also seems to be getting screamed at more too which is possibly our frustrations coming out which i feel terrible about.

He is lazy about the house and I feel that I have 3 kids sometimes not two.

I don't think trial seprarations work to be honest - I think it's either make or break.

did he do all the cooking for your dinner? sorry - not the point but you said he's used every pan in the house...