What's the most common cause of divorce in your experience?

[lollycheeks]

Just that really - what have people you know mostly broken up over?

Not putting your partner first.
Taking your partner for granted.
Imbalance of power.
Lack of communication.
Adultery
Financial worries.
Mistrust often due tone of the above.

OP - just married and already wondering how to avoid divorce?

Communication is the key to all good relationships. Lose that and your doomed! Keep your own sense of identity, one person should not be totally reliant upon the other. Keep your own friends and interests. Financial worries is another massive cause of relationship break ups.

The divorces in my close circle including my own divorce number 8:

• 2x DV
• 2x long term use of prostitutes
• 3x affair
• 1x breathtaking laziness (he also had an affair or five but it was utter laziness that did for her in the end)

7 of the 8, the man was "in the wrong". That is not to say the woman was perfect, but where there is physical violence or use of prostitutes, I think you've gone beyond a six of one half a dozen of the other situation.

I have a mix of male and female friends too, so it's not that I only get to see the female view - but 6/8 of those divorces my link is the female partner.

In some cases (including mine) the relationship was bad from both sides.

But in my experience - the women try to make it work, continue to be nice to someone they don't love and who doesn't love them, sacrifices their happiness and tries to keep a family together for the children (6 of 8)... the husband then behaves like an utter shit (7 of 8) but the woman eventually instigates the divorce (7 of 8).

A few years ago I'd have read that and said "nonsense stereotyping" but that is my experience.

Right, let me think,

I divorced first husband for DV
DH split with first wife - both too young
S left K because he was 'too boring' and she was getting a portion from her manager at work
J left N(1) because she had a bloke on the side - but there was also an age gap
K left N(1) because he was a lazy twat with a gambling problem
S left N(2) because he had an affair
S took N(2) back and then left him, admitting she only wanted his sperm and once mission for DC2 was accomplished he was given his marching orders.
T & J split - she left him, age gap, she wanted to be out clubbing he wanted to be mowing the lawn
Tr left Sc because he was a serial philanderer
M left Sc because he was a serial philanderer
M(2) left Sc because he was a serial philanderer (pattern here with Sc)

Inine if iur friends have cheated on each other, they just stopped nurturing the relationship and trying to please the other so grew apart and life got stale and boring.

Wtf! Sorry, should have proof read

*none of our friends