Thank fuck he's gone. Happy valentine's to the newly single.

[divorcedtobe]

I am freeeeeee!!!
People who have been betrayed, left, mistreated, you think you miss the lying piece of shit you lived with but you don't. You miss a life you thought you had and a future you'd planned to have. Nasty people are not worth missing. I hope soon you wipe away the tears and make it up off the floor and soar into the future you get to create. We nice honest decent people must not let those fuckers steal any more of our greatness or even a second of our time on this earth. I've had an appalling marriage but I'm going to have an awesome life.

I posted this on another forum but owe Mumsnet a great deal for getting me up off the floor over Christmas when stbx twat husband left and so am reposting here as a bit of encouragement and to give a teeny tiny bit back to the Mumsnet family:

I’m off to a party tonight. This valentine’s is a celebration of me loving me.
This weekend you do something. Get out and DO something! Fuck last year. The time is now!!!! We get to create our own valentine’s traditions and have fun. Do not lament the past. Relish a future of self love. That is what valentine’s day will be for me now. Don’t buy into that whole couples, flowers, dinner, blah blah. Make it yours. Turn this commercial money making day into a thing of Love. Love you. Take you out. Love this new thing we are in. And one day when we are ready, we might even let a special someone into our valentine’s day lovefest. And that, will be a beautiful thing.

Love and hugs to all. x

Fab post!

Left abusive relationship two years ago - best thing I ever did. Spent the following year re-engaging with friends, finding news hobbies - lived on my own and bloody loved it - lost three stone.. Oh and eventually met the love of my life after finally learning to love me. Currently in gorge little hotel being treated to belated valentines by my new partner (bit tipsy on prosecco) and feeling fabulous.

The world is out there to be enjoyed. Don't ever compromise :)

Hoorah!

Christ better put down prosecco for a bit..

I have decided to take up badminton! Haven't played since school. Have found a group and I'm going! Yay for all of us who are seeing the world in technicolor for the first time in years!! What a gift it is to be single and yet so connected to life! I enjoy the day and go to sleep without anxiety or denial clouding my brain. My kids are beaming! Who knew that they were so sad. Divorcing that fucker is the best thing that has happened to us. We are like feathers now. Dancing in a soft breeze.

I hope valentine's was awesome for you all.
x

Can we keep this post going for a bit? I need a bit of 'me' love!
My H left me about 8 weeks ago, I caught him in my bed with another woman on NYE. Didn't know our relationship was on the rocks, devastated! (I have written a post about it but only had one reply ).

I love the fact that people are getting on after their ex's have left them in a similar situation to me. It gives me hope which is all I can ask for right now.

I know I can do it, I find the house a lot cleaner, calmer, less tense etc and I know I have to just wait it out. I know it's going to be okay, with or without him. Still hoping he'll come back though! Someone slap me!

happy to help Dozy slap

seriously, hang in there, this is the hardest part but already you can see life is better.

Onwards and upwards girly !!

Dozy I've been newly single for coming up to 3 months now. ExP met someone new 3 weeks later and is now living with her (and her 4 yr old daughter). I ended the relationship and know it's for the best.

It's not nice is it? But it's a process. I don't mind my own company and am keeping dead busy, have great friends but it's still so 'different'.

BUT on the positive side:

• my DC are happier, better behaved I've taken up Zumba and love* it
• My house is de-cluttered and feels my own
• Am looking forward to our holiday in August, just me and my DC

Messgae me anytime

Love After Love — by Derek Walcott

The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other’s welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.

This is when we need a 'like' button.

Thanks!! It's nice being able to stay in the house without having a grey cloud looming over us all the time! He was always moody (always! Not just recently so not the reason for him leaving). I was always walking on eggshells blaming myself for his moods. Ha and people wonder why I've suffered depression! I've never been good enough, I've never been number one. So now I'm putting myself (and DC of course) first! And it's nice! I, too, have started Zumba. It's getting me out with friends and doing it for my health too! I haven't felt this free for a long time!!

And not treading on those eggshells is so liberating.....they make such a mess!

That is very true!!