Pregnant and dumped

[Londonfirsttime2014]

My husband of less then a year and partner for 7 years decided 2 weeks ago that he didn't want to be in a relationship anymore. He decided to tell me at 8 weeks pregnant so that I could make a decision about what I wanted to do! So angry I can't even explain. The baby was planned and we have had miscarriages before but apparently he has been unhappy for years. Our relationship has never been boring and I thought this was something that he liked ( he had told me that before). Just cannot understand how someone can claim to be so happy but want to get married and have a baby! I am totally gutted and have left the flat we share. He now wants to be involved with the baby as much as he can. Find it hard to deal with this day to day and keep strong when I've been treated so poorly. Not sure how to cope. Has anyone gone through this? How did you cope??

yes, having nothing to do with him at this point is a very good idea. it made me grow stronger, and it has to be on your terms now. my exp wanted to be at the birth but I could not have thought of a worse situation to be in, so refused and that was yhe right decision. my sister was my birth partner and when I was ready to let him know, an hour after he was born, my sister let him kkow as I couldn't even bare to talk to him/tell him. take your time to figure out your future for you and baby. I remember feeling so stressed I struggled to even eat-I had to force food down. look after yourself, this will pass and better things will be ahead. and to be honest, I found it quite nice that when ds was born, I did it all myself, what I wanted, when I wanted, no one telling me their opinions on whats best, no one pestering me for sex, all I had to think about was me and baby. when exp came round to see dp I would disappear to the gym as I couldn't bear to talk to hom let alone be in the same room, and keeping my distance from him kept my sanity. do you think your exp will be very much involved in babys life?

He says that he wants to be as involved as two people am be without being in the same house. To be honest the thought of him being too involved doesn't make me happy due to him basically telling me to a have an abortion. But I know I need to be the better person, that's why I want total distance from him. The more i am in contact with him the more I hate him and I can't raise a child with someone I hate.

ok well that is a positive. your baby will need his/her dad. but I know how you feel with the hatred. that's natural to feel like that but don't let it consume you. Now this is all about you, your life and beautiful baby and moving forward. just remember ot wont always feel this bad.

when ds was born and I did have to see exp, it was hard, but whay helped me was to see him as a babysitter, at least in the beginning. Having him come round allowed me to nip out to the gym, nip out to the shops, go for a coffee alone/with friends or just for a nice walk to have some time to myself, have a breather and judt relax. use that time for you when you're ready

the worst thing I did was keep it quiet and not tell my health visitor, my friends and family knew of course but some counselling at the time would've helped massively I think. being a mummy is the best thing in the world, despite whats happening at the moment, your baby will bring you so much joy and happiness, keep thinking of that

Thanksbutnothanks your advice is appreciated. I visited my GP and asked for counselling. If it takes too long to get a referral I will pay for it myself. I think I need it. This is suppose to be the happiest time of my life and I won't let my dick stbxh destroy this experience any more then he already has.

I was left when it was announced I was pregnant after waiting the 12 weeks. I also found out weeks later I was left for another woman. One who was always at our house parties etc. I dunno what to suggest to you. I know I sometimes honestly wish I went through a termination as it's bloody hard work and I do resent my ex for making me lose everything I ever had. My pregnancy was a horrid experience and I was always on my own and holding down a job and finding places to live whilst sofa hoping around friends houses (He threw me out) I am drip feeding as not going to out myself on here. I don't regret my child and I will do anything and everything to protect him, but I would suggest you think long and hard about what is best for YOU and no one else. Everyone will have an opinion and I regret listening to others thinking back. Wish you all the luck in the world.

Wow you are going to be a brilliant mother!

You are strong, valiant and not cowed by this knob. I salute you.

Ableable, thanks for the kind word. I don't feel like I have much of a choice. I have an unborn baby that is completely innocent and relying on me. I can't give up and will try to keep my head held high.

Wittsend13, I know exactly what you mean about everyone's opinion. Just trying to listen to my gut and trying not to let fear get to me. Choosing to try and stay as positive as I can.