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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Squeezing thigh - friendly or intimate?

51 replies

vanillebla · 13/02/2014 22:44

Opinions please - If you were with a group of friends and one of the guys squeezed one of the women's leg under the table would you think there was something going on or would you just think they were drunk and being slightly over friendly? Both married to other people

OP posts:
RudyMentary · 14/02/2014 08:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

perfectstorm · 14/02/2014 08:19

Intimate. Under the table is the clincher, as it's a private moment and both accepted it as appropriate - under normal circs the married-to-someone-else squeezee would react.

Remember a thread on here where a woman saw her husband do that to a colleague at a work do when returning from the loo and was unsettled - he swore blind she was being daft. Affair of some longevity emerged shortly afterwards.

Santaclaws · 14/02/2014 08:20

Well personally for me it crossed a line. It was the first time he had met her, the first time I'd met either of them. All too over familiar

Mama1980 · 14/02/2014 08:24

Far too intimate, no one has ever done that to me unless I'm sleeping with them if someone did I would call them on it loudly.

OneDayWhenIGrowUp · 14/02/2014 08:25

I agree in context it sounds dodgy. Although I would do similar to a friend male or female in a different context, say in place of a supportive/cheer-up hug if we were sitting down and that was easier than getting up and giving an actual hug. But subtly under the table in a group situation with no reaction, that is a bit weird. It's something I do with my bf if in public, or stopped at lights whilst driving for example. Situations where you can't show physical affection in another way without being inappropriate.

Preciousbane · 14/02/2014 08:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

firesidechat · 14/02/2014 08:30

I would say intimate too, but if it was under the table how did you see it?

worldgonecrazy · 14/02/2014 08:31

Very intimate. Friends will touch each other on the arm or put an arm around shoulders. The waist area and thighs indicate intimacy.

They're probably at it like rabbits. I hope it wasn't your DH doing the touching.

MrsSchadenfreude · 14/02/2014 08:38

Intimate and undoubtedly shagging. Had this done to me when I was shagging someone I shouldn't have been.

scaevola · 14/02/2014 08:41

Intimate, but not necessarily indicative of affair.

sussexmum38 · 14/02/2014 08:46

Intimate. He has been their or a lot higher before.

Dahlen · 14/02/2014 08:51

Intimate. However, her non-reaction doesn't mean they're having an affair. Women often freeze when receiving unwanted attention because they don't want to make a scene or cause offence.

Joysmum · 14/02/2014 09:51

I don't think it's cut and dried. It tells a lot about the person doing the touching, but nothing about recipient or whether they are fucking so many of the previous post in here are wrong.

The person being touched may have felt very uncomfortable and just not able to challenge it.

SaucyJack · 14/02/2014 09:55

I think if it was done under the table, then he knew it was something to hide.

Soz.

TinselTownley · 14/02/2014 09:58

Depends on her reaction. If she didn't slap him or flinch it's a tawdry Benny Hill type affair. Classy.

DizzyKipper · 14/02/2014 09:58

I agree with Joysmum, some people just don't have the courage to challenge such things or feel like they don't want to make a scene. Perhaps she herself is wondering what it meant and whether he was just being friendly? The guy though, definitely being intimate and inappropriate.

Boobz · 14/02/2014 10:00

I would have to see said thigh squeeze in question. I have thigh squeezed good male friends but never in a "secretive" way. Would need to see the whole squeeze in motion and see their faces and what they were talking about in the group, to see if it was innocent or not.

NoelMamereGaelMonfils · 14/02/2014 10:22

I had this done to me by a friend's drunken husband trying it on at a dinner party. I didn't react at the time but I definitely wasn't sleeping with him ugh, he was a sweaty bugger, not in a million years

normalishdude · 14/02/2014 13:28

could be anything at all...........

ChunkyPickle · 14/02/2014 13:43

In this case, intimate (and in any cases I've been involved in)..

There are a few people I suppose who might just be that kind of affectionate - I think it would depend on the context - during a big guffaw, after the squeezee said something sad - probably just affectionate, but if secretly while the conversation was on something un-related - intimate.

Catsmamma · 14/02/2014 13:51

i need to know more....

Were squeezer's finger pointing towards or away from the squeezee? Towards is much more intimate

Did the squeezer squeeze the nearest leg with their nearest hand, or was it more turn and face bodies and squeeze?
If it was side by side, right hand to left left...I'd say much less intimate

And where was the squeezer's thumbs...inside leg area...again much more personal

so they must be doing it!

normalishdude · 14/02/2014 13:58

There's no way anyone on here could judge it, no matter how much info of said squeeze is supplied

Sylvana · 14/02/2014 15:27

I would say it was dodgy too but a male friend did this to me years ago. We were sitting in his living room watching a movie, he was sitting beside me, my Dh was sitting on a chair opposite, his DW was there and a couple of others (no alcohol involved), he suddenly reached over and squeezed my thigh! I kind of froze and thought WTF. No one else noticed. I immediately thought he was trying it on but I never got any further signs from him that he was into me. We just carried on as normal after that. Weird.

perfectstorm · 14/02/2014 17:38

Agree with previous posters that the reaction of the person being squeezed matters. It could be that the bloke was trying it on, or just a lech in general (hoping not your P, OP). If she looked uncomfortable or froze then the scenario is very different to a slight smirk or just relaxed response, and so on.

vanillebla · 14/02/2014 20:42

No thankfully not my dh, they are colleagues of mine. I know none of my business really but just wondered if other people thought it was as odd as me

OP posts: