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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Still contacting me

27 replies

str8tothepoint · 13/02/2014 17:52

Ok so I shut the email account down where she was emailing me but has now emailed me on the account only he would know so am assuming she found out by hacking into his accounts.

I have not replied once since it all kicked off but now sensing that she'll always hunt me down. I can't give or tell her anything that would put the relationship back to what it was.

I feel that she does have the right to rant at me, send me pictures taking the piss but do I have the right to tell her to leave me alone now? Or not?

OP posts:
Sammie101 · 13/02/2014 17:56

I'm a bit confused, who is contacting you and why?

handfulofcottonbuds · 13/02/2014 17:57

Delete and ignore, don't respond to this drama anymore.

Change that email account if you have to or set up an automatic reply saying emails to this account are undeliverable.

Just don't be part of dragging everything up again.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 13/02/2014 17:58

From what I remember, you were the one that went after her determined to tell her that her husband was gay and having an affair with you. Hmm Yes, you have the right to ask her to leave you alone and you can even threaten to report her to the police if she persists in harassing you. But do be conscious of the double-standards and learn from the experience.

Logg1e · 13/02/2014 17:59

The wife of the man he was having an affair with Sammie

Str8 just delete and ignore. Don't feed the drama, much as you get something from it.

Ballsballsballs · 13/02/2014 18:01

Hello again str8.

Ignore, ignore, ignore. Delete the email address and ignore them.

Original poster
str8tothepoint · 13/02/2014 18:02

No I know that's what I fear happening. If I reply nasty to a point where she will take the hint she may back off but then I'll look like the enemy to everyone on her side.

I have no interest in that drama no more I have/am moving on best as I can and can't be sucked into her why/what's I have to think about me.

OP posts:
Original poster
str8tothepoint · 13/02/2014 18:04

Thank you Cogito I know I have done wrong and like I said understand why she vents at me but she needs to take it out with him now not me.

OP posts:
Logg1e · 13/02/2014 18:04

Don't reply nasty, don't reply nice.

If you reply, there's no hint to be taken and you'll look like the enemy (which you are) and "everyone" will be on her side (which they should be).

CogitoErgoSometimes · 13/02/2014 18:09

"she needs to take it out with him now not me."

You take the biscuit, you really do. For months and months we said leave the guy alone, leave his wife alone, leave his family alone. You wanted her to suffer. You wanted him to suffer. You thought she was a stupid cow for not listening to you.

....And now you're whining because she's pissed off and giving you a hard time. Hmm Unbelievable.

Original poster
str8tothepoint · 13/02/2014 18:15

I'm not pissed off just I have nothing to tell her. I don't have the answers to the questions she has - HE DOES

I am not playing the victim and have said she does have a right but surely there comes a point where she will realise that she has to stop looking at me for answers

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 13/02/2014 18:17

You again ?

< deja fucking vu >

Logg1e · 13/02/2014 18:18

When she comes to that realisation OP is down to her. Nothing to do with you.

Original poster
str8tothepoint · 13/02/2014 18:21

I thought this board was for a place to seek advice, help, support not to be knocked down for mistakes I made but now trying to move on. If I wanted the drama to carry on then I would email her back with the info she wants but no I am trying to move forward.

Thanks for your advice, there are some really nasty people on here who like kicking you when your down. So go on about me carrying on but you get a kick out of it.

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 13/02/2014 18:22

The irony is lost on you isn't it? When you were depressed because you discovered he'd gone back to the wife and kids and spun you a load of lives you went after HER for the answers! Everyone said repeatedly that your problem wasn't with her it was with HIM.

Of course, all the while that nasty piece of work in the middle of the whole thing has had the satisfaction of watching you and his missus scrapping it out over him. Still think he's your soul-mate?

You chose to be the 'O'... this is part of the deal.

Original poster
str8tothepoint · 13/02/2014 18:22

Yes NOT ME!!!!!!!!!! HIM!!!!!!!!

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 13/02/2014 18:25

Don't get arsey with people for giving you a hard time. People have been incredibly kind to you OP. A lot of us have been the cheated wife or cheated husband and had to suffer finding out we've been duped. So we generally take a dim view of OMs and OWs who whine about tough breaks and things can get very heated. You've had very easy ride so far but don't push your luck.

str8tothepoint · 13/02/2014 18:25

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Logg1e · 13/02/2014 18:25

OP If I wanted the drama to carry on then I would email her back

Problem solved. I thought you were asking if and what you should reply.

brokenhearted55a · 13/02/2014 18:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnyFucker · 13/02/2014 18:40

Yep, you are dead right

Same old, same old

ForgettableTampon · 13/02/2014 18:42

cats bum face

Logg1e · 13/02/2014 18:45

Yes, the wife is such a bitc... oh, hang on.

FreeLikeABird · 13/02/2014 18:48

Yes it's all the wife's fault.... You fucked her husband.

TheVictorian · 13/02/2014 18:56

Op the only thing you could do are either request that she does not contact you or failing that could you just block her.

bastardcandycrush · 13/02/2014 18:58
Shock