No maintenance, never, and making me beg...

[oopsadaisyme]

I've had a right old time of it so bear with.......x

What would you do, he's promised some money going in on a monday (in two months, never happened) - He's tried to 'keep me sweet' by sending the 'I love you, I miss you' rubbish over past two weeks - then when i say 'ok, but really need the money', he got nasty, accused me of being a bitch and only contacting him because of money - and if I was to go cms/csa route he would get everything out of my house he deems as 'his' (tv, my sons xbox, the works) -

I just want to support my kids - he can buy himself holidays, wine bars (wtf btw), but not afford to support his child -

Believe me, If I could do this on my own right now I would, but he's living the life of riley, and I actually had to beg him today for money, we have nothing - three weeks and nothing, paid everything I had for food and gas - and still he paid in nothing -

I feel sick and really alone, I dont want to contact him again, but he's hanging us on a thread and loving it - doesnt pay us maintenance, tells me not to text

or any advice tbh - how can I make 20 last a week???

He can't take your stuff- for a start how will he get in?? Call the bloody police on him!!
Do you mean 20 pound for food?

Supermarket own baked beans on toast...
Basic/own brand pasta and sauce (add some frozen veg- find that cheaper)
Eggs...
Big jacket potatoes (fill you up)

Would your mum/dad help you out? A mate? Have you over for dinner? Feed you all at least once in the week??

Sorry if I missed this but how old are your children?

You should be able to claim -

Income support/jsa
child tax credits
child benefit
housing/council tax benefit

Then on top you would get CM (once this is sorted out)

If you need practical tips on budgeting you can PM if you like :-)

This might cheer you up a little.

Don't panic!

You need to stop hoping for anything from this useless shitbag of a man. Cut your contact with him, contact Women's Aid/CAB/a solicitor. You should be able to keep him out of your house and force some money out of him.
Everything he says is bullshit. He is not a good person. He doesn't matter and you have plenty of rights. Good luck.

This won't end, you know. If you continue to not take the CSA route, he'll continue not to pay. You can do it. Be strong.

Is he self employed? If he's bought a wine bar, then thats' quite likely. So he will have a good accountant and not be paying any tax anyway, let alone maint.

You can try, but I doubt you'll get any thing.

Change the locks

oh dear,
oopsadaisyme, tell you what, I had a friend in this situation when she was just a small 10 year old.
no money from her father, shacked up with a new gf. you know what she did (as that scared 10 year old)
*she went to her "father", knocked on the door, new gf came out, she simply said, we are hungry, we need money for food.

refused to leave until she got some, and guess what each week after that, an envelope came through the letterbox for her and sister.
worth a try,
*your children need food, their human right, let them tell him personally, there is no food for them to eat.
shame on him.
don't beg him anymore, he is being a controller and abuser of you and "his" children.

Child Maintenance Service - 0800 083 4375

Food bank - Please go. If you're not sure where your nearest one is your local Sure Start children's centre will be able to tell you.

CSA without question. If you are afraid of him then please taje action via women's aid.

And please make sure you keep copies of all the texts he's sent. I am sure someone more technical will be able to tell you how.

Surely you could prevent him from stealing your sons xbox i.e changing the locks? etc i'm totally ignorant I confess in this area.

Also, bear in mind that this man is not above the law. It's not up to him to decide how much he pays you, or when. He can be prosecuted for not paying child maintenance, and even if he fights in court and uses clever accountants and all the rest of it, you can at least make sure his life is difficult until he starts paying up.
Take all the advice you can: solicitor, Women's Aid, CAB etc. Good luck. But don't trust the man, he's not worth it. He is not your friend. He is your enemy: treat him like one.

CMO then CMS - go the legal route and get a commitment he's stuck with.

What you are experiencing here is financial abuse, call Women's Aid for advice on how to deal with it/him.

He's actually put some money in today, 50 quid, but like a fortune right now, -

ohwell I know where your coming from luvly, but I'm trying to keep everything as normal as poss for the kids, they don't need to know etc, and we quite happy (without them knowing financial difficulties, they eating very well - thank you google for recipies)

and on the plus, I've lost 2 and a half stone since Christmas! - yay x

Child maintenance isn't counted when they calculate benefits. It's on top and an extra. So you would be much, much better off if you had it.

He owns a wine bar - does he have any other job or source of income? Lifestyle greatly in excess of stated income is also something CMO can look into if child support is at derisory levels as a result. Call and ask for advice - this is your kids' money, not his.

A Girl Called Jack website has ridiculously cheap recipes that are actually properly nice - I cook them because I like them. She's got a book contract on the strength of them, in fact. Pennies a portion.

Bag up your valuables and give it to a neighbour/friend/family to store for you.
OR store all valuables in several bin bags & hide it in different parts of your loft.

Call the police on 101 none emergency number & say that he has yhreatenedto break into your home & that you feel unsafe. Ask them to keep it on record & show or play back abusive texts and voicemail messages.

See your solicitor & tell them & show any abusive texts and ask them to record it for the future.

Sell anything that you don't need via ebay or local markets/selling boards to supplement your income.

Shop at Aldi as your money will go further

Buy veg/fruit from a market stall than a supermarket apart from Aldi

www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/

www.hmrc.gov.uk/individuals/index.shtml