Wasn't sure whether to put this here or lone parents
Dd is 13 and has fallen out with her dad -well he's fallen out with her and now the feeling is mutual
He picked her up for his contact weekend and within a couple of hours had brought her back
We talked, I told him he needed to build bridges and figure out how to move forward as I saw a hurt, angry child -he saw a spoilt brat
I also spoke to her and was told that he treats her like a child eg sending her to bed at 8.30 on Saturdays and expecting her up at 8am despite not having plans for the day, they always either sit around watching his choice of tv or do her little sister's choice of activity like visiting a children's museum or going swimming, he never has any food she likes, she can't see her friends etc
I suggested that rather than a full weekend he took the pressure off and just had her for the day and asked what she wanted to do -she's not overly keen about staying at his as its 15 miles, she can't make her way from his to meet her friends, he has no Internet and lives in a 2 up 2 down with no garden and she shares a 6ftx8ft room with her sister when there and finds the whole thing claustrophobic
He said he would take her shopping which he did, that lasted 45 minutes before he brought her back saying she wasn't being appreciative and he had tried to talk to her but she didn't want to know and he couldn't deal with her
He had made no contact with her for the 2 weeks between the 2 contact weekends
Another 2 weeks go by with no contact from him
Contact weekend comes round again and she says she doesn't want to go, he says fine and just took her sister
He's rung me tonight and said he's planning to take them both to visit family 300 miles away at Easter and I better get her used to the idea
Surely it's him that needs to be talking to her?
If he can't cope with her for 45 minutes then how on earth does he think a 300 mile journey and 4 nights with 3 of them sharing a room is going to be ok?
In the last 6 weeks he's spent less than 3 hours with her where he's accused her of being depressed, antisocial, a lost cause and living in a fantasy world
She's 13 and yes can be moody but she's growing up and into her own person. She's passionate, articulate, has a fantastic sense of humour and is doing brilliantly at school -I don't know the child he's describing -yet he expects me to fix this
Sorry this is so long but he was EA towards me, our daughter is a lot stronger than me in someways and I think she's seen through him and I'm not prepared to force her to see him
This is so hard!