Friend splitting up with her H. How do I support her?

[HermioneWeasley]

They've been together about 10 years and have kids. I've always thought he was a dreamer (at best) and a lazy cock lodger (as worst). She's finally had enough and said they are splitting up.

If you've been through this what sort of practical and emotional support did you find most helpful?

I know I can't join in the slagging she will need to do in case they get back together and then I'm the bad guy, so I will listen and bite my tongue in two!

I can only think of a few practical things like pro-actively offering to babysit if she needs to see her solicitor/adviser; cooking her and the children a meal sometimes so she feels a bit taken care of. Suggest a few distracting afternoons/ days out with her and the kids to start making new memories that don't include him.

I think the best thing you can do is to be a listening ear and shoulder to cry on. As you say, it's difficult in the early days especially if you don't know how permanent this is. But don't be frightened to say you never liked him, if you didn't like him... It's not slagging him off, it's just your honest opinion.

Text/ring/IMessage her in the evenings. that's the worst time. Knowing that someone is thinking about you makes all the difference.

Take her out for a drink if she's up for it. call in for a coffee. Offer to babysit or just be there for her.

Listen.

listen
still treat her like normal, ie chat about normal stuff, keep her in loop about what's going on etc
dont think its all better after a few months. still be there at other end of phone to text or call
tell her she matters and that she's a good mum

I know you have already said it but do not slag him off. They may get back together albeit temporarily before the final split and you don't want to come off badly. Just listen and be supportive.