Bit of a long story. I don't have many fond memories of my dad as a child. He used to be violent with my mum, I used to hear them arguing at night. It still upsets me now thinking about it.
Mum and Dad divorced when I was 17.
Dad got engaged to his now wife, on my 18th birthday - of all days, why?
I stayed in touch with dad when my parents divorced but not because we had a close relationship. More of the fact just because he was my dad. Every year when father's day, christmas and his birthday came along, I would spend ages trying to find greetings cards that didn't say things like "to the best dad, thankyou for everything you do for me etc etc etc" because none of it was true.
For the past two years I haven't sent him anything. The first time I did this he phoned me a couple of days after father's day and his birthday and said to me "thankyou for your card and present" in a very sarcastic voice and then proceeded to put the phone down on me.
My children hardly know him.
Whenever he has visited me at my home it's always been a quick visit as he has to get home for dinner. Can never eat his dinner and then come and spend time with me and my family.
I keep thinking to myself that I have to move on but he still has a hold on me for some reason. I have thought about going to see him at his home, my sister has said that she will come with me for support. She still has contact with him, even though she knows what he's like. I'm wondering if it's best if I just let it all out and tell him how I feel.
I had been feeling okay about it all but this morning a postcard has fallen on my doorstep from Tenerife addressed to my sister. She used to live with us. It's addressed to my sister c/o my house. Love Dad and Wife. I feel like I've been punched in the stomach. Why did he have to do that?