Ok so I wouldnt actually call her an arsehole even though she is but I would like to highlight some major issues so it points out that she is.
I recently posted on here about her, Ive namechanged since.
Im not sure where to start, so Im sorry if its garbled and mish-mash.
I recently fell out with my mother to the point of cutting her out of my life for a few reasons.
One being her controlling and abusive husband, in a nut shell he really doesnt like me, made it clear I wasnt welcome at their house and she made clear he thinks he is right in every way, and I am wrong. Even going as far as to tell me 'why didnt you stick up for yourself' when the arsehole was basically bullying me. Then asked me if my 7 year old could go to theirs for the weekend. 
in the house I, myself am not welcome in.
Anyway my issue is not with that, of course it is an issue but I totally give up there. Theres no hope at all.
My issue is with the fact that when ending the conversation my mum said I was benefits scum who needs to 'get off my lazy arse and get a job'.
Despite this conversation taking place a month ago and me cutting her off and telling her so, for some reason the 'lazy arse get a job' bit has suddenly started bothering me greatly. To the point where its keeping me awake at night.
Basically I have a 2 year old who has serious allergies and been in and out of hospital since he first went into anaphylactic shock at 5 months old. He has suffered horrendously with severe allergies, reactions, urticaria, eczema that would break your heart, countless blood tests, and allergy tests. Now at 2.9 years old he is allergic to 30 foods and counting, all fabrics apart from cotton (so polyester, acrylic, nylon as well as wool, feathers) all creams we have every tried using to sooth his eczema.
He can only eat 8 foods (7 really because one is questionable) he is still breastfed because I darent take out one of the few things he can eat, and a his asthma STILL isnt under control which means he is wheezy most days and often on oral steroids and nebuliser.
When having a reaction which is fairly often because of cross contamination, new allergies or re-trialing current eliminated foods he will wake up all night long.
I have been known to lay there and not be able to count to 20 before he wakes again in pain, scratching and wheezing.
He hasnt been in childcare yet because his allergies have been growing and I didnt know what the fuck to feed him one day to the next let alone someone else. He also hasnt been fully immunished yet.
However, I have been trying to change this since the summer. For example, his allergies have plateaued the last few months so we now see an immunologist trying to get the safest immunisations done in the safest possible way, we see an asthma consultant trying to get his asthma under control and we see a specialist in the allergy clinic atnthe Evelina in London.
Ive recently had the oppotunity to do volunteer work at the local childrens centre, it means DS can be with me and I can gain experience to help when I apply for my degree into child nursing for 2015.
But I just got an email to say he would need to go into a creche while I train to become a volunterr which is fine but they serve food.
Its still far too much of a risk, he is too young to understand the severity of his allergies and its not a risk I think can be taken yet, it took a long time to track down a nursey experienced enough to consider and even then he wont have lunch there.
So I have had to ask if theres training at a later date (perhaps I could get different childcare then although I dont know how?)
And the nightbefore last I accidentally gave something to DS that contained an allergen and he woken 12 times by 11.30pm, I stopped counting after that.
These two recent goings on have left me seething with the words my mum said. Her actual words keep playing over and over in my head.
"Yes you are benefits scum, you need to get off your lazy arse and get a job."
What, you gonna come down and look after him while I work are you? You daily mail reading, narrow minded, un supportive. Judgemental bitch.
I really, really want to email her and tell her EXACTLY why I cant just jump to the nearest job and that his waking tonnes WONT be remedied by putting him into his brothers room to sleep and was NOT caused my choosing to co-sleep.
To add, DS is on higher rate DLA and he ess awarded that way before his health got this severe, so if the system believes us, why cant she??
WWYD?