Don't feel like I can cope

[MamaPingu]

Two nights ago I finally got DP to admit he cheated when I was pregnant. I am gutted. Not because I have lost him in particularly but because I don't feel I can trust any men at all ever again.

Every man I have had something to do with cheats or ditches me for someone else before a relationship starts.

A minimum of 90% of men I know have cheated on their wives or girlfriends and I just feel miserable about it all.

I NEED to learn to live alone but I know I'll just end up falling for someone and the same shitty cycle of living in misery until they admit they've cheated/ someone tells me will begin all over again.

I know people will say not all men cheat and that I must know bad selfish men, but it is a HUGE group of men of all ages and backgrounds. It just seems like them all

(((hugs))) that must be a horrible thing to have confirmed, even though you strongly suspected it. You are aware of what you need to do, but don't know how to go about it. Have you considered counselling? From your thread title and recent shock, I'm sure you would be able to get a minimum of 6 sessions on NHS, can you go to your GP?

Thankyou for your post.
I wasn't aware you could be given counselling (am I being daft?) for cheating.
I don't know if I'd be too embarrassed to go to my GP about it, I know I'd just cry my eyes out to the point where I couldn't talk a blubbering mess!

I know what I need to do and I keep getting VERY happy then VERY depressed about it all. I'm excited at the new freedom and the weight being lifted that I have had it confirmed.

But now I have had yet another bastard added to the list who has cheated and now I feel I can't trust ever again. I have trust issues when I started the relationship and now I am miserable

I don't know you or your circumstances so please don't take this as if I am indicating that you are in any way to blame, but there is a interesting book called "Men Women Love, Men Women Leave". It does sound to me like you don't value yourself if you expect a man to cheat on you. Agree with cheapskatemum re counselling.

Also further down the line you may want to look at the Freedom Programme - it is very good for spotting red flags of potential new partners, even if you haven't suffered domestic abuse, it gives lots of useful advice. You can do it online for free at your own pace if you wish HERE.

Go for it if you want to be single.
There is no law to say you must have a man.
Many many people are very happy being single.
You don't need to explain yourself to anyone.

I think I'm too kind if I'm honest, I'm not a push over or anything but I will always put others first.
I am getting better at standing up for myself. I am a confident and independent person but I seem to go for morons.

I've been bullied and humiliated by past boyfriends but never left because I always end up looking at their good points.
I think my problem is I need to learn to run a mile at the first second they do something unforgivable instead of pretending I'm happy still

Thankyou for that link also I will have a look tomorrow

I don't think you can be too kind - but I think some folk will take advantage of such kindness and exploit it to their own ends.

I agree though, who says you have to be in a couple. I have learnt more about myself and being more contented on my own than ever in any adult relationship. To give up that singledom I would need to find someone who is pretty bloody impressive - and one whiff of a red flag or alarm bell and I would be off like a shot - stuff I did put up with would never get a look in. Now that is empowering and marvelous - and you deserve the same kindness and respect don't you.