Stuck in a rut

[bakeroony]

I'm fed up with nagging DP so thought I'd ask here for help.

We've been living together for 18 months, at his PIL's place, while he plays computer games full-time finds a job. I work full-time and am very settled in my career.

I'm 28 so while I know that's still fairly young, I'm keen to start TTC (as you can see, I joined Mumsnet months ago to prepare!) and my family are dropping hints as they love DP.

I'm getting increasingly frustrated and days like today don't help. Today 2 of my friends have got engaged and one has announced they've bought a house with their partner! On days like today, such commitment feels like years away with DP. I already suggest and book all the holidays, arrange all the socialising...he just seems content to go along with whatever.

What can I do? He just seems to have no sense of urgency. I initially refused to live with him until he found a job, but relented, and now I wish I had held out until if ever he was sorted. I'm just feeling like this is going nowhere. :(

Sounds to me like its going nowhere too, sorry.

Your big mistake was moving in with him before he got himself a job.

See all those little niggles - not working, playing on his computer, letting you arrange (and pay for?) all the holidays, etc... Multiply them by a million if you add a baby into the mix.

I suggest you move out asap and tell him he can join you once he's got a job. If that doesn't galvanise him into action then dump him and find a grown up to settle down and have children with.

Oh no bakeroony please move out, or move on!!!

He does contribute as he has savings, but ergh, I'm just so frustrated that he doesn't seem keen to grow up anytime soon!!

Why on earth do you want to have kids with someone who plays computer games all day?

You're right it's going nowhere.

Ditch the wastrel and raise your expectations: find a guy similar to yourself in full time employment, who is also looks to settle down and have kids.

Oh god...please read the threads where women are in tears that their dp/dh sits playing computer games whilst they do everything/organise a house/look after 3 kids/hold down a full time job and actually have a broom up their arse to sweep as they go.....

If he can't be motivated now...what are you expecting to change?! In my experience I think people's character traits get worse with age...