Is this deserving of an apology or not?

[thedogwakesuptoodamnearly]

OH is working away and won't get back in time for a Big Sporting Event he & I have tickets for.

Other than a mention that he won't be back in time, it's not been referred to.

I get that the boss decides how long jobs take, but is it too much to expect an "I'm sorry we're missing out because of my work?"

Maybe I am being a stampy-foot princess?

As it's not his fault he probably doesn't see the need to apologise and he's probably just as upset as you are. Have you apologised to him? If he's supposed to say "sorry you're disappointed by something I had no control over", perhaps you should do the same?

I agree the best way to communicate the change of plans might have been "I'm really sorry I've got to work" but I don't think the fact that this is so important to you is very healthy TBH.

Blimey! Should I have posted [trivial] in the title, then? Other people post becasue their partners eat food from the treat cupboard or don't wipe the work surfaces....

Yes I agree OP. That wasn't helpful Lazy.

What's he like generally?

I suppose he's missing out on the event as well, so he may have just assumed that you'd be aware he's sorry because he's disappointed as well.

If it was me in his situation, I'd apologise, because even when things are beyond my control, I don't like to see people I care about suffer something directly related to me. But then I'd have tried to get the tickets to be sent directly to you so you could take someone else or phoned up the company and asked for them to be reissued to you.

Dahlen has a good point. Often there is a back story, and 'presenting problem' can be just a reflection of that. Rarely as simple as one incident.

Agree that a simple, courteous "sorry" is basic manners. It's not about accepting liability in a case like this where work has had to take precedence ... it's about acknowledging that the other party is also disappointed, about recognising their feelings. That's all.

Like someone said upthread, if I was late to an appointment because of horrendous traffic I'd still say sorry. If I had to cancel a date because I got flu I'd still say sorry. If I couldn't complete a work task because someone else took some vital records I'd still say sorry. None of that would be my fault per se but to say nothing kind of implies that I don't care about the overall situation. It only takes a second to say sorry and avoids exactly the kind of resentment the OP's described ... why wouldn't you take the opportunity to smooth things over so to speak when it's so easy and costs you nothing ?

Why would he need to say he's sorry? My DH is always having to work unpredictable hours and be away from home. He doesn't want to be away, he doesn't want to miss family events, why should he need to apologise for a situation he didn't create or want?

Have you thought about your husbands feelings about all this? Why does he need to apologise to you?

If you're not sure about whether or not an apology is warranted, I think a good way to gain perspective is to imagine you're dealing with a colleague rather than a spouse/DP.

If you'd arranged to go to an event with a colleague and then had to let him or her down because of circumstances beyond your control, would you apologise - even if you were bitterly disappointed yourself that you had to miss out?

I'd hazard a guess that in most cases the answer would be yes, because while you would feel that you had done nothing wrong, and might make your apology one that focuses on your mutual disappointment rather than a "I'm sorry" it would be a matter of basic courtesy to acknowledge the inconvenience to your colleague.

Now, if you profess to love someone more than your average colleague, why on earth wouldn't you accord them the same courtesy?

"That wasn't helpful Lazy"

Rot - best relationship advice the OP is ever going to get IMO is don't sweat the small stuff. Nobody is 100% perfect 100% of the time.

If it's part of a bigger backstory and this is the proverbial straw then that's different. Is that the case OP?