Those in crap realtionships, freshly single etc. Do you ever think of

[SadFreak]

the good old days? And just wonder how and when exactly it all turned to shit?

I have posted on here a few weeks back about my crap relationship but the specifics are not really relevant to this other than after almost 20 years its shit and probably over if I grow a backbone and sort my life out. I have been pondering alot in the past few weeks about where and when it wrong.

I cant remember the day. The week. The month or even the year that it stopped being fun and I stopped feeling totally loved up content and happy.

In the past few weeks I have found myself remembering happy things from years back. Really random everyday events, Not special occassions you would expect to remember but just things like pushing the pram around the village on a summers evening hoping to get DD (now 15) off to sleep and feeling happy and excited for future. Sitting on our local beach just chatting and laughing and nearly getting caught out by the tide. Our first ever Asda shop just after we moved in together. Choosing paint for the kitchen in Homebase.

We had so many plans. We were so happy. We were so in love. I loved him to the end of the world and back.

Somewhere someday during the past X years that went and I dont think I even realised tbh.

Just feeling really sad and reflective. I suppose this is just another stage of dealing with the fall out of a long term relationship going to the dogs.

Anyone else get weird flashbacks like this? Sometimes I think them up but weirdly they just come into my head when I am dishing up tea or driving to college etc. It is stuff that I dont think I have thought of for 10years plus.

I have also lost a close friendship so yeah can really appreciate how crap that feels too.

canttypefortears - sorry to hear about your relationship. What a shock for you. Hope you manage to come to some good conclusion.

its early days fir me 8.5weeks.

the relationship was very abusive.

if I read the red flags I would have ran in the oppisite direction.

I still miss him. I think of the good times when we had them. such as when we would watch a horror film ams I wouod spill hos drink with jumping and he wouod laugh, then the next day it was more abuse because of that.

the times we would play on the xbox together. the times we did laugh together. just having someone there with me.

I miss the good times. I know the relationship is dead and we csn never get bwck together. I knew for the last 18months it was dead amd I wantes to get away. but I do miss him and its starting to hit me more now. at the start I was angry with what he did to me but I want the good times back even though I know I can't.

how can I miss an abussive man? I just miss all of the good things

Me too. I have happy memories. funny memories.
But they are like photos with some kind of smudge on them. Looking back there is always a point on the memory where he does something nasty.

mink
that is what it is like here. Everytime I think pf the good and fun times there was always worse abuse after. it was as if he couldnt allow me to be happy and had to "knock" me back to the way he wanted me. I doubt thee is any really good memories of the relationship. well apart from dd1 brth but then again the abuse escalated after the birth. he controlled dd2 birth so it sort of fells tainted both times.

Toffee, I hope you are doing well and your dd, I remember your thread.

If the good times led to bad times that's no good. My dh in the end was rewarding himself for being nice to me and dc by having a night ( all night) out. Very destructive.

It still annoys me to think of when he was ok, so I don't!

When I manage to to have moment for myself
I'm actually terrified

I still can not understand how bad it become with a time
buhaha
Moments I'd "loved"

Working as his free "personal driver"
Constantly listen to his music in my car his constants criticism how bad driver I am but still being on call 24/7
Always loved driving with music on (fast &furious;-) but safe))
he even broke that
Well sold the car
now I can listen whatever I like!

Loved walking
When he started shouting and swearing at me suddenly out of blue on street
I just wanted to hide myself anywhere
......
Just a very mild things but it get heavier and heavier...
just a life ah