would this get to you or am i over sensitive?

[wontletmesignin]

If you go to your parents house, and they carry on whatever they are doing (which is fair enough - i expect that). In the meantime, being told to go in this room and that room to keep their dog out of their way. Again - i dont mind.

My sister comes and everything stops. They sit down and have a cuppa with her and an actual conversation.

It really got me thinking...what about exactly,i dont know.

But i seem to do an awful lot of dog watching, and helping out in general. Where as because my sis has a job (which i understand) they dont ask her for much as shes busy.
I have 4 children and im currently dealing with social services so many meetings. Ive got 1 child in nursery and 3 in shool so im back and forwards.

I honestly believe they think i do nothing.
I can only just keep my house at an ok standard as i am barely ever in as im jumping with nursery, school, ss, therapist, parents etc.

It didnt really bother me at all before, but watching the way they were with my sis it made me wonder why.

Am i just overly sensitive with this, or would this get to you?

I don't think you're being over sensitive. Do you feel able to mention it to them?

Yes, that would upset me and I would probably try and reduce the number of visits and say no more often when they ask me to do things. It would help me take control back but I'm not sure if you are in a position to do either of these things.

I dont think i would be able to mention it. They would make out i was making it sound worse than it is.
So it would be pointless.

Reducing the number of visits, however, i suppose is possible. I did say no today to watching the dog as they were booking a night away....with me in mind to watch the dog! He pees and poops all around my house. They just expected me to watch him so i said no. My sister said she would spend the night at theirs, so problem solved. Only with me looking like a bitch in their eyes.

My mum does this too wontlet. I live quite near and often go over to help them as they are getting old. We have a kitchen supper. My DSis lives abroad and when she comes she gets the best room, and we go out for meals at local restaurants.
I try not to get too upset at the contrast because I have the pleasure of their company more often than she does. So her visits are a treat for them.
Do you think you are the "useful" one in your family? and she is "special"?

My sis lives close by too and sees them often. I dont think they see me as the useful one as they often tell me im useless

Yes I am the less favourite child too. To the whole family not only my parents
It sucks.

I feel that having less contact possible helps.
Always remember it is their issue not yours.

This is appalling.

They trained you well didn't they?. I presume they have conditioned you into accepting watching the dog and being put in other rooms.

Why do you have anything to do with them at all now?. They will not give you the approval you so crave and actually the relationship you want from them.

You seem to be the scapegoat here whilst your favoured sister is their golden child. That is also a role not without price but she is likely too stupid to realise.

I think you should also post on the "well we took you to Stately Homes" thread on these pages.

I would also suggest you read "Children of the Self Absorbed" written by Nina W Brown.

Thank you all. It is good to hear it isnt me!

I did cut contact a while back, as the critisism and arguements were too much, plus i had ex trying to isolate me so i guess he helped.
Only i couldnt take it. I wanted my parents in my life.

I confronted them about my childhood and the way they are now im an adult and it got me no where. Dm couldnt remember anything. Df apologised and admitted everything, which i guess is one thing. Then went on to tell me he would write me a letter on his death bed explaining his reasons why he was the way he was.

Things had been ok though, apart from their arguements. They have been quite supporitive of me leaving EA ex.
It was just today with my sis. Made me think that nothing had changed. They have just drawn me back in to pick up where they left off.

I have posted in stately homes today. Ive wanted to for a while but never had the balls.

Its a crazy feeling its all given me. I feel so empty and drained!

Thanx for the book suggestion. I will get it

My mum's a bit like that.
If there were a room full of people,she would ask everybody else first if they wanted something to eat,drink,then finally turn to me and say,"you don't want anything do you"?

Sorry to hear of others going through this too. Although, it is good to know im not alone. Vixxen you are right - it is their problem.

It is hard to remember that at times though, isnt it?

Abby - it just makes you feel so small and insignificant. It is hard to deal with