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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Seperating - what is "fair" financially

2 replies

DoNotTellDH · 02/02/2014 16:26

H doesn't know but I'm planning to move out at Easter into a house share because that is the only affordable option. Am staying within walking distance so will be on hand to be involved with the dcs etc.

I'm thinking of paying the CSA rate maintenance, childcare fees (minimal as of April) and towards the dc activities. I will have to run the car and all expenses.

This may be temporary or permanent - I can't see H having an epiphany and deciding to resolve his own issues to give our relationship a chance, the last 4 years have been awful for me and I've spent the last 2 years telling him I cannot live with the current situation.

Anyhow with me paying the above it will mean that each person - adult & child will have the same "income" per month to cover food, clothes etc.

Does that sound fair?

It's hard because we will all be worse off, there is no spare room for me to move in. We couldn't afford to sell the house and buy a smaller property each either so this could end up being a long term arrangement Sad

OP posts:
TeenyW123 · 02/02/2014 17:48

Get some legal advice. Book 3 or 4 appointments with solicitors and get a free half hour with each of them. Find one you feel comfortable with and is an expert in family law.

CAB will also be able to help you see what options are available to you.

You say you'll leave your children with him. Is that because he's the main carer on a day to day basis now?

DoNotTellDH · 02/02/2014 17:54

yes he is main carer at the moment as works fewer hours than me. Also he would rather carry on as things are instead of seperating.

If we divorced it would have to be a case of selling the marital home when the youngest was much older.

Not sure I want to go see a solicitor yet!

OP posts:
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