relationship by skype

[ohwellthatshowitis]

our friends and neighbours have sons and daughters, many gc, who visit and vice versa,and spending their retirement with their families. dear dh and I ( nearly 70)have nobody. 2 sons and a daughter who emigrated years ago, 4 gc who we only talk/see through Skype. one ds who lives 10 hours away. a "close" relationship but in reality ,only one in cyberspace!
we are happy together, but sometimes the isolation and sadness is unbearable. somehow gotta come to terms with it, and accept what I cannot change!

I just wanted to say I really feel for you. Having just become a grandparent for the first time I can understand how hard it must be
Do your children who emigrated try to visit once a year or every couple of years?

What's stopping you emigrating?

Is it that easy to emigrate at almost 70"? I don't think its so easy to go to certain countries anymore

Could you not have extended holidays with them?

I have relatives who went to NZ in their late 60s on family visas, got in by proving they had no immediate family ties to the UK and that their child and grandchildren were Bona fide kiwis.

The only person stopping you doing something is invariably you

financially it is impossible to join our loved ones (checked into sponsorship etc). wouldn't want to be a burden either.
just have to accept this is how it is. daughter and gc came here a couple of years ago, but it is so expensive for them .the long haul flight for us is exhausting too, but will try to go this year.so sad,
missing out on our childrens lives too.
but hey,
as they say, just gotta suck it up, and go for a long walk (at least we have blue skies today!)

Have all your children emigrated OP ?

yes, 2 sons and a daughter.
the last son who left, was made redundant and tried for 2 years to find work, but eventually had an amazing job off abroad and grabbed it with both hands, good for him,
I put my happy smile on as he went through passport control, hiding my sadness as the last one to leave!

Have they all gone to the same country? Would they consider clubbing together to get you out there?

If that's the case then it may be possible to go as you could prove you had no immediate family ties in the uk. If you could find a way to get round the financial aspect

yes, in the same country and same area, but that's another story.
they are in 2 groups,
one son and dil, (2 gc)against son and daughter(2 gc).
dil had affair with dd's husband,-they divorced eventually-so living between the 2 would be like piggy in the middle
.maybe being alone here is more peaceful than emigrating , if it was possible ,than living in a war zone.

I know this is only addressing half of the issue, but skype is fantastic at building relationships for the occasions that you might be able to meet up with your grandkids.
DH has just flown, with DS2 (DS1 here with me carrying on school / work as normal) a decent way round the world to see his parents and extended family (DH born in UK, parents retired and went back home).
Within 12 hrs of landing, DH has sent me a photo of my 2 year old baby wandering hand in hand with his "skype relationship" grandfather without a care in the world - and looking at the angle of the photo, he happily left for a wander round the village (where he will be pounced on my may may people if past experience is anything to go by) leaving Dad at home.
SO, keep with the skype. If you get over there, and when they come back to the UK, you have built the foundations for an amazing bond with your grandkids.

thankyouaddictedtosugar, such a warm message!just what I needed to hear today!
it's true, we do have the unbreakable bond through Skype, (just wish they were closer, but that's how it is.)
my daughter and son -and 2 gc-dearly want to return home, but financially it's not viable, for a number of valid reasons.
there they have a comfortable home- no equity-,
good salaries,
so, for the foreseeable future they are stuck there.
I suppose the feeling that I am here alone, with dh of course,
with my family wanting to be here too, makes it doubly sad.
between a rock and a hard place for us all.