The only thing that is stopping me from leaving is that I have nowhere to go [sad face]

[jstsrsos]

I am utterly miserable and desperate.

I've got quite a bit of money in the bank, do you think I should just take myself off to a hotel for a week to have a proper think? I feel on the edge of a breakdown.

Every time I talk about separating with my dh (there have been many times over the years) he begs me not to! And I keep giving it one more try for the sake of the children but I am becoming seriously depressed about everything. I don't think our relationship is fixable or worth saving.

If you have money in the bank can you not use that as a deposit/rent on a house so you have somewhere to go?

You need to bite the bullet and leave.

Go to a hotel, rent a flat, anything if you're this ill from being with him how can he be so cruel as to expect you to stay?

You could consider the week off as a holiday. Or tell him to go.

Are you just unhappy, or are there other problems?

I think its a bit soon to be renting flats. If I left and got him to understand that I was serious about separating, we would have to discuss living arrangements for the children. We'd also have to sell our house and buy two smaller places. I just feel I need to make him see that separation is going to happen, one way or another, and to get the ball rolling.

I don't love him and don't enjoy living with him.

I left my ex in November. I used my bit of savings as a deposit on a rented house. I was worried how the kids would take it but mine are tiny so haven't really reacted.
I've never felt so happy and empowered. I am my own person again, yes we have contact but if he starts i just walk away to my calm and lovely little house. I got lots of support on here.

So pleased to hear you are happy now tantrums x

Have decided to go to a Premier Inn for a week. Feel a bit better already. Haven't told h or the dc yet.

Have some 'me' time too, I think it's easy to forget to love yourself when you're tangled in an emotional mess.

Thank you, it took a lot of courage to do and a long time to make the decision to actually leave but now I'm glad.
Best of luck whatever you decide x