I love DH. We have been together 12 years, and have a 6 month old son. My DH is kind, generous and funny. Before I got pregnant, I never imagined anything could come between us - we've been through a lot together, and always been strong and deeply in love.
But since I got pregnant, we've been bickering and arguing and snapping at each other. We've only had sex once since DS was born (it was horrible). I'd like more intimacy but DS is a bad sleeper and I am always so tired. Every time we touch or are a bit intimate DH wants full sex and I just can't face it.
We've had money worries, health problems and have moved to a new town, as well as having a baby, so obviously things have been difficult. Now DH's business has gone bust, we're fighting off bankruptcy and the future looks very uncertain. I have had to go back to work quicker and more full time than I would have liked, and I am finding the transition really difficult.
I can't tell whether I'm just tired, exhausted of all the change and wishing things were different, or whether my feelings towards DH have changed. I can't help feeling a bit disappointed in how our family life has turned out - I've had to take all the responsibility for getting things done (I organised the whole house move when DS was a few days old, I have had to take control of all our finances, in general I run the household.) I don't think DH understands the bond I feel with DS - not the need I have to care for him at home, nor the difficulties I have suddenly having to leave him to go back to work.
At the same time I know DH is generous and kind, and trying to do everything he can. He is doing lots of childcare and being very nice to me. But I somehow don't feel the same as I used to about him. It's like I've lost some respect for him. But I know I couldn't live without him. And I also think he deserves to be loved unconditionally - why can't I do that? Should we go to counselling? I desperately want to make things right again. Will things get better as DS grows up?