So what happens if...

[Thegoatprophecy]

..a guy you (really) like- and who apparently really does genuinely like you- has just finished a very bad relationship and says he does not want another relationship right now 'but it will happen' (with you)? I.e. do you wait around for him to decide that he feels ready (taking him at his word of course) or do you conclude that he's not that into you and get out there and go dating others to get over him- even though your heart's not in it and you don't want to mess other people around :/

Some food for thought there thanks! We have been friends for getting on 4 months now, see each other about twice a week on average? So I thought he should know after 4 months.. He is worried sleeping together would ruin our friendship and he doesn't want to mess me around..but I thought that was generally code for 'not that into you' :s

Four months is not that long. Do you see each other socially and alone or with friends or work?
In his place I'd worry people thought he had left his OH for you. Meeting you might have spurred it, as it was only 3 months before the break up.

Still, I'd not "wait" as such, but keep going with my life. You don't have to go on a dating spree if it's not what you usually do, but I wouldn't close any doors because of him.

Yes, I agree with Lweji's second paragraph (and the first actually!)

To clarify, by giving him the wrong idea I meant either the idea that you aren't that bothered about him or that it would be ok for him to date too. Neither, I believe, would be true.

We see each other socially and alone. He was planning to leave the ex for some time anyway, though I guess it might have helped him leave knowing he had options!? People would assume that anyway I think, whatever he did now. He says there is no one else. Thank you.

If he can't commit, he can't commit to commit. Move on and be friends and if it's meant to be it will. He's not asking you to wait for him, he's basically stringing you along right now.

Kitty's example they were "exclusive friends" which is different to what you describe. He hasn't (from what you've said) suggested exclusivity.

It's actually a really good thing that he recognises he's not ready. Give him time and space.

Thanks sykadelic that all rings true. Not sure what exclusive friends are actually..