He finally admitted it

[MamaPingu]

After over a year of torture DP has finally confirmed my suspicions that he did cheat while I was pregnant.
It wasn't sex (apparently, although I know a lot of people don't confess the full story) but he kissed someone when I was 12 weeks pregnant. He has crushed me
I genuinely think that's it now, every partner I've had has cheated and this has made it so much worse that our son is involved. So I think learning to be alone will do me the world of good, I can't have this happen again.

I found it hard to leave him as I had an inkling something had happened but hadn't a clue what.

I have told him it is over. If he had told me immediately and truly regretted it there would be a chance I'd have forgiven him. But he kept it secret knowing I was miserable and begging him to tell me what he was lying about. He also messaged (not particularly bad messages, but not acceptable ones either) two ex's just weeks before I had our beautiful DS.

I hate him so much, but I feel like there is a huge weight off my shoulders. I feel quite depressed currently but hopefully this will be the start of some happiness for once.

He has offered to help out financially which is another weight off my shoulders. I'm pretty much used to being a single parent so that's no issue.

I just kind of feel embarrassed now with how things have gone. DS hasn't even reached 5 months

I don't know what I'm meant to do now. I'm just hurting and feeling angry and wondering what else has been hidden although I don't want to care.

What do I do now? The house feels very empty and lonely.
I know I will be much better alone in the long run, I just feel like everyone should know what he has done but I don't want people to hate him for it. I just don't want people to even think for a second this was my fault

How do I tell people?

What do I do now?

I don't think we'd spend much time together as friends IYSWIM, but being able to be civil and not too hung up over it will help us.

It's strange how I swap from being ok with this to wanting to kill him (not literally!!) every 30 minutes

Civil (but cold) is good

Aww hun, feel so sad for you. The only advice i can offer is what has already been said. In regards to what do you tell people, tell them the truth nobody will blame you at all.

In time it will get easier for you im sure, just concentrate on your child for now. x

I just can't wait for a few months down the line where this feels a bit more normal and the house feels homely again. It feels all empty and sad!
And when we have contact sorted etc.
I'm hoping things will look brighter now. When we were together I'd be so so happy when he was with me, then when he'd leave for work I'd be miserable and fed up and not particularly bothered if he came back

It was very up and down emotionally, I hope things balance out a little more now it was very confusing to feel that way all the time

You will get there x

Thanks everyone x

Y'know what Pingu. You are going to be a great single parent. Your DS is a lucky boy to have a mum with such guts and determination. It wont be easy but you know that already. Well done and the best of luck to you. Mx

I concur

What a lovely thing to say maras.
And you know what I think you are right, the more I think about it the more I realise how much I was bringing to the relationship.
I'm the one who got a house sorted, manages all the money, who drives, does the housework, who is going to university and who does everything really! I think me and my boy will be just fine

Thanks again for your support and kind words everyone it had changed my view on this completely