How often do you come across this kind of attraction in your life and is it always mutual?

[macystacy]

I am talking about the kind of attraction that just by talking, being near or thinking about someone can physically turn you on and them too (obviously men are a bit more obvious in this respect).

I have had it 3 times in my life (37y), the first time I said this is the man I am going to marry (I did and it was a mistake as we had so little in common). The second time was just unsuitable and the third was just terrible timing for both of us and I'm still not over him.

Speaking to friends some have never had this or only once and I was just wondering about other people's experiences. In all my cases it was mutual and curious if other have also found it to be mutual?

Have I had more than my share of this?

Once and married to him :)

Yes I have and no it wasn't. Or at least so he said after having (I felt) massively led me on for quite a while. It was crushingly embarrassing and he was quite brutal about it.
I still don't quite understand what happened there, whether it was misunderstandings or him being a nasty piece of work or what. Suffice to say that it has put me of ever feeling like that about anyone ever again.

*off

I've had this once. When I thought about him I kind of got this shiver and need to have sex with him. All I could think about was my next 'hit'. He was amazing in bed. I once went to the cinema with him and watched a sensible film and all I could think about was getting him back for sex!

I'm in this situation with someone right now. We were a couple but he is The Most Unsuitable Man in the World. More red flags than China. The sexual tension is phenomenal and it's all unspoken. Actual sex is hugely disappointing. We meet once a week or so and flirt outrageously. I have come to the conclusion that the best thing is to enjoy the tension for exactly what it is and not take it any further. The anticipation is actually a million times better than the result. A bit like Xmas.

A bit like Xmas.

Oh, well, that's trashed my theory, Drastic!

This thread's had me reliving certain ill-advised encounters (well, dozens, actually) with XH2. It was the most miserable, damaging relationship but we kept on shagging ...

I have fancied quite a few men throughout my life, but recently I met a man who I could just have dived into.

Completely unavailable as much younger than me but talk about swoon. His eyes just held mine and I felt this zing of electricity. Doubt he did sadly!

It actually helped me get through a rough time just knowing this feeling could exist! :)

It does cheer you up, doesn't it flumble :) I agree with Drastic, it's nice to have all the electric flirting without 'diving in' as you so expressively put it!

In my 7 long years (so far) exile to The Town That Time Forgot, I've not once clapped eyes on any man who made me feel like that. Perhaps I should learn to fancy fat, alcoholic farmers sheep!

6 years ago, I was introduced to someone while my husband and I were out with friends for drinks. It was a proper, blazing lightening bolt straight to my minge with our eyes just staring into each other. I panicked and ran off to the loo, when i came back he had left.

He was a good friend of my good friend and we eventually were in the same circle, cue 3 years of on off texts about non flirty issues and a couple of whispered conversations but no snogging. It eventually faded and now it seems very surreal as he is actually abit of a weirdo, with no decent chat.

He is my life experience that has given me wisdom that 'eyes across the crowed room' don't really mean anything, no matter how powerful it is initially.